A month ago, in the natural wonder of Joshua Tree, I witnessed a different form of natural wonder: a 60-year-old woman in a lace teddy sprawled atop a massage table, guided to climax not only once but five times by a statuesque practitioner named Court clad in black latex gloves. The woman was “sexually dormant” after decades in a sexless marriage but was now mainlining pleasure in a room full of women watching and vying for their turn, myself included.
Welcome to the Back to the Body sexual-wellness retreats, where this type of session is typical fare for women hoping to rediscover their sexuality, foster community, and feel good in their bodies again. But these life-changing orgasms don’t come cheap. It’s a hefty $15,000 for a seven-day stay, but after three days I’m convinced this is more than an indulgence—it’s a valuable investment in personal liberation.
For 20 years, the Back to the Body gatherings have fueled a burgeoning sexual revolution. Now, the business enters a new chapter with a dedicated home just two hours from Los Angeles.
“Connecting to our bodies without shame is essential for empowerment, pleasure, and freedom,” Pamela Madsen, founder of Back to the Body, tells me. “But the reality is most women have never been taught how to access their own erotic energy. We’re taught to perform sexually, but not to receive or explore what turns us on without guilt.”
Madsen is a kindergarten teacher turned fertility whisperer and somatic sex educator who created this one-of-a-kind experience after a perfect storm in her personal life: navigating infertility without adequate resources, feeling estranged from her body after years of conforming to societal norms, and longing to explore her sexuality in bold new ways without going outside her marriage. What she discovered was a significant gap in sexual education for women, especially when it came to being in touch with what gave them pleasure.
For so long, wellness equated to green juice and yoga, but we now understand that whole-body health requires a harmonious connection between mind and body—vagina included. Even the World Health Organization includes “pleasure” in its definition of sexual health, emphasizing that sexual well-being is not just the absence of illness but the presence of feel-good experiences. This widespread neglect of sexuality has even earned a name: “pleasure poverty.”
The retreats combine guided touch, breath work, movement, and soulful conversations to help women shed layers of shame and disconnection. The practitioners, all certified in somatic sex education (yes, it’s a thing!), use their hands, toys, or other tools to help women tap into sensations many haven’t felt in years—sometimes ever. When applied intentionally, these techniques can improve body awareness, resolve trauma, and unleash newfound sexual freedom.
But there are rules. A core principle of somatic sexology is that touch is strictly one-way, with practitioners wearing gloves to establish a physical boundary that reinforces the therapeutic nature of the modality. Clients are encouraged to use “voice, choice, breath, and sound” while receiving without expectation, ideally reconnecting with what turns them on.
For one woman, the bodywork led to a powerful shift in how she approached her pleasure practice. “My table sessions helped me realize that I was in charge of cultivating my own erotic energy,” says Hazel Stricker, a 47-year-old from San Diego. “I felt more empowered, alive, and at ease with myself.”
Erinne Branter, a 46-year-old from Canada, described her experience as nothing short of a miracle. “It’s like you’ve been walking around in this incredible sports car that no one has driven correctly,” she said. “And suddenly someone knows how to drive your sports car and you realize that the sports car that the world has told you is too small, too big, too fat, too hairy, and not enough was actually perfect all along.” She reinforced that beyond the physical reawakening, she gained tremendous strength from being witnessed and celebrated in a group of women reclaiming their pleasure together.
While there, I participated in a group exercise called The Art of Adoration, where attendees were invited to dress in something that made them feel beautiful and wear a blindfold while lying comfortably on the floor. Sultry music is played to set the tone while staff gently introduce attendees to pleasurable sensations: tracing soft touches along their thighs, caressing their décolleté with silky fur, or running fingers through their hair, as well as decorating them with flowers and crystals.
At first, I thought the adornment exercise was a joke and didn’t bother to prepare. I showed up in my hotel bathrobe, borrowing flowers and trinkets from the other women. The truth was, after years of struggling with health issues and feeling disconnected from myself, I didn’t want to be seen, much less adored by others. I thought I didn’t deserve to feel pleasure or be in the company of such beauty. But after my internal chatter ceased, I surrendered to the hour-long process and let it all go. For a brief moment, I allowed myself to feel. It was as if a layer of shame had been stripped away, bringing me a little closer to the woman I used to be.
Now if the idea of sexological bodywork doesn’t get your attention, the steep price tag certainly will. Depending on location and group size, retreats range from $8,000 to $18,000 per week and include a private chef, pool, hot tub, and access to hiking trails. However, it begs the question: Is sexual liberation just another luxury of the 1 percent?
Madsen acknowledges the accessibility challenge but sees the new headquarters as part of the solution. “I want every woman to have access to this kind of healing, but we also have to honor the labor and expertise that goes into providing it.” While Back to the Body is actively working to make the retreat more affordable with payment plans and a forthcoming scholarship program, in-person retreats are not the only way eager attendees can experience their sexual revolution.
Their three-day portal costs $750 (not including accommodations), and the live virtual master class, Sovereignty, offers women a taste of the retreats—without breaking the bank (or delivering multiple orgasms, sigh). There is even a self-guided online course, Mind, Heart, Belly, Vulva, for just $97.
But when it comes to sexological bodywork, Madsen warns against cutting corners with a retreat that seems too cheap or too good to be true. “Do your research and vet the practitioners,” she says, emphasizing that experience and credibility are crucial in this field.
As the retreat came to a close, the group’s energy felt different—lighter, more alive—as they bonded by the pool over lunch, some lounging topless without hesitation. I, too, felt more open and free, realizing that denying myself pleasure might have been more detrimental to my health than I had thought. I couldn’t just put pleasure on the shelf until I felt like my best self; it was part of getting well. This is the new world of wellness.