The Los Angeles Dodgers and the New York Yankees—teams from America’s two most populous cities—are currently facing off in the World Series, which is a big deal if you like baseball.
But if you don’t much care for America’s pastime, perhaps because the games are too long, or because the snacks are utterly mediocre compared to football’s? (And don’t you dare bring up Cracker Jacks. I refuse to acknowledge Cracker Jacks!) Well, then I advise you to look at the World Series through a different lens. It isn’t just a string of baseball games…but the latest chapter in a longstanding beef.
New York and Los Angeles have been in a big you know what-swinging contest since time immemorial. There was Alvy’s remark in Annie Hall that he didn’t want to live in a city “where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light”; all that sniping between Tupac and Biggie; the two-episode Sex and the City arc in which a stint at The Standard on Sunset Boulevard sent Carrie running back to Manhattan; and, after chasing her dreams on that same island, Joan Didion taking a final look around, saying “goodbye to all that,” and heading to LA.
So, this World Series? It’s not just baseball. It’s a tally on the board, an invisible hand guiding the minds of future generations, an undetectable breeze swaying the great pendulum of power—and it got us thinking about other major East and West Coast face-offs. In the battle of the tabloids, for instance, who wins: the New York Post or TMZ? And what enclave can claim the ultimate hipster crown, Bushwick or Silver Lake?
After coming up with 18 hyper-specific rivals (real or imagined), we asked our bicoastal Vogue contributors to weigh in on which city wins each category. Some are New Yorkers who moved to Los Angeles; some, Angelenos who moved to New York; and others aren’t sure which city will ultimately hold their heart. But they’ve all lived in—and paid taxes in!—both.
Below, the results. Definitive? Definitely not. Controversial? Definitely so.
Bougie Grocery Store
The Reasoning: In the only clean sweep of these matchups, every single respondent acknowledged the absolute grocery store supremacy of Erewhon. Hailey Bieber smoothies, buffalo cauliflower, and Balenciaga merch—even the most ardent New Yorkers have gotta admit they’re jealous of LA’s unlimited access to ripe avocados.
Ridiculously Sceney Italian Restaurant
The Reasoning: While you’ll see Rihanna taking paparazzi photos outside of both, the lure of Carbone’s spicy rigatoni didn’t stand a chance against Giorgio Baldi’s agnolotti. The Santa Monica institution had a divisive victory over the Greenwich Village hotspot. (“Carbone is a McMansion built of sea salt,” grumbled one Vogue editor.)
Unofficial Keeper of the City
The Reasoning: You can’t beat a Fran Lebowitz quip. (There’s a reason Francon exists!) That said: “Both are terrific smokers,” says Vogue’s creative editorial director Mark Guiducci, a California native.
Hipster Neighborhood
The Reasoning: Bushwick’s techno scene. Let the beat drop.
Shameful City-Specific Scandal That We Could Write a Dissertation On
The Reasoning: Horses had the immediate shock factor, sure, but the discourse was over in a matter of weeks. Eric Adams’s descent from nightlife-loving mayor who held court at Zero Bond to, well, an indicted individual played out over years, like New York’s own illicit Iliad. “If it were a screenplay, it wouldn’t be believable,” says Guiducci.
Hometown Tabloid
The Reasoning: The headlines. “There is nothing better than the deep belly laugh of a New York Post cover,” fashion market and collaborations director Willow Lindley says.
Iconic Restaurant Meal That Symbolizes the ~~Soul~~ of the City But We Can’t Exactly Explain Why
Reasoning: As Guiducci puts it: “Eating a McCarthy salad feels like Reagan is still in office.”
Thing We Love to Bitch About
The reasoning: This was the most contested category—but after the votes were tallied, New York’s mile-high piles of trash were deemed the more valid topic to bitch about. “The garbage in NYC is 1000x worse than LA s traffic, don’t @ me,” Vogue writer Christina Pérez says. Yet native Angeleno and fashion writer Hannah Jackson put up a hell of an argument for her hometown: “I don’t remember sidewalk garbage getting a recurring SNL sketch.”
Late-Aughts Pop Song That Was a Straight Banger Until Our Tourism Board Bludgeoned It to a Slow, Uncool Death
The reasoning: “‘California Gurls’—we all hate that,” said writer born and raised in the Valley.
Moneyed Vacation Enclave Where Rich People Do Shady Things in Cashmere Sweaters
The reasoning: Respondents pointed out the superior Hamptons social and arts scene, though the California crowd remained nonplussed. “I really don’t care,” Lisa Love, Vogue’s longtime West Coast editor, answered in her ballot.
Genetically Blessed Blonde Woman Who Makes Us Feel Bad About Ourselves
The Reasoning: While everyone paid only the most respectful homage to both our blonde icons, it was Goop queen Gwyneth who filled us with the most envy. Can’t argue with a lifestyle empire and an Oscar!
International Airport
The Reasoning: Whomever finishes their goddamn construction first.
Early Aughts Teen Show Where Everyone—Even the Grandpa—Is Ridiculously and Inexplicably Hot
The Reasoning: Better writing, celebrity cameos, and scenes in actual New York locations. Blair at Central Park’s ice skating rink? Serena and Nate getting up to no good in the Campbell Apartment? Professions of love atop the Empire State Building? The Coopers and Cohens could never.
Neurotic Larry David Sitcom That Speaks to Our Daily Existence
Reasoning: There’s no character more neurotic than George Costanza. Cue the Elaine dance.
Influencer Catnip
The reasoning: At least the LACMA lights are (sort of?) in the name of culture.
Real Estate Amenity That Means You’ve Made It
The reasoning: “Take the pool, every time. That’s what sending out your laundry is for,” Vogue contributor Alessandra Codhina says.
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