There is a quaint tale my mother likes to tell me, about when she first introduced my father to her protective big sisters. One Thanksgiving, my aunts sequestered him in the back of the family home for a frank talk. In hushed tones and whispers, so my mother couldn’t overhear, they interrogated my father about his familial roots, future plans, and, more important, his intentions for my mother. Hours later they emerged, laughing and forever friends, never divulging the details of their conversation. In fact, my father would go on to dazzle much of my mother’s large family that holiday—even my typically nonplussed great-grandmother was charmed. And with that ceremonious acceptance the cosa nostra granted him, my father had been approved (“made,” if you will); a proposal came later that year, and they’ve now been married 45 years.
As much as my mother cherishes the story of her family accepting my dad into the fold, I think she also takes some satisfaction in the fact that it’s a hard club in which to gain entry. Working your way into an extended family—a tribe filled with overbearing and endearing parents, aunties, uncles, brothers, sisters, and cousins with discerning tastes and little to no patience for strangers who may or may not hurt their loved one—takes commitment and persistence. And if you’re the one being wooed? Those raised in a large household practically have their own security detail tailing them through the precarious and overwhelming dating scene.
It’s perhaps why another large brood—the Kardashian-Jenners—consistently move and date in packs, integrating their siblings’ significant others into the mix. You’ll find Kylie and Tyga vacationing with her older sisters, or Kanye inviting Kourtney, Khloé, and Kim into the studio with him. Khloe’s ex-husband, Lamar Odom, routinely speed dials the Kardashian matriarch, Kris Jenner, as if no divorce papers had been drawn. Even Scott Disick, Kourtney’s estranged partner, continues to vacation with the family as if he were still with the eldest Kardashian daughter. When you’re surrounded by so much familial moral support, perhaps public breakups, divorces, and meltdowns don’t seem as unbearable. The constant keeping up becomes a buffer from enduring heartache and disappointment on your own.
Now, on the other hand, for those outside the fold, dating a member of a large family can certainly be daunting and intimidating at times. But sometimes you simply just have to step into the fray and have fun. So this date night, why not make it a family outing? Slip into your Christopher Kane embroidered flower top, a pair of Levi’s distressed straight jeans, and a pair of Vanessa Noel mules, and treat your prospective future in-laws to dinner. Meet bae’s sister for a girls’ night out in your LPA 39 little black dress and Gucci floral jacquard pumps—your partner will be happy to see you’re making the effort. And if the family has invited you away for their annual vacay (you’ve made it!), you’ll fit right in donning an H&M ski jacket and Fendi stirrup ski leggings.
