Moms—they bring us into the world, they work overtime to make sure we don’t choke on our fingernail-sized Polly Pockets, they deal with us during our fractious teen years, and hopefully, they give us some choice words of advice along the way. I still remember the two pieces of advice I once read Nora Ephron’s mother gave her: “Everything is copy” and “Never ever buy a red coat”—in addition to a veritable string of my own mother’s pearls of wisdom.
In honor of Mother’s Day and all the things our moms and mother figures do for us, large and small, 19 Vogue staffers have contributed the best pieces of advice their mothers ever gave them; read them all below.
“Stay positive”
Cliché, yet effective. My mom has drilled this into my mind for the last 26 years and I can’t deny its impact; there truly is power in positivity. In some of my most stressful moments, or times when I doubted myself, I’ve had to remind myself to “stay positive”—because things will always work out in the end. —Kylee McGuigan, associate production manager
“Sweetheart, don’t ever pluck your eyebrows”
I’m not sure if this was the best advice my mother gave me, but I’m reminded of it every time I look in the mirror. “Leah, sweetheart, don’t ever pluck your eyebrows,” she told me as I was on the verge of becoming a fashion- and beauty-obsessed teen. I’ve since learned that the road to regrowing over-plucked brows can be long (and expensive). I’m so glad I’ve never had to travel it. Thanks, Mom. —Leah Faye Cooper, digital style director
“Don’t sweat the small stuff!”
Life has a funny way of surprising us in both the calmest and most chaotic times, testing our patience and resilience. In these crucial moments, my mother’s reminder, “Don’t sweat the small stuff,” resonates in my thoughts, bringing me back to reality. This advice serves as a gentle nudge to remember that even the most well-thought-out plans can unravel, and the only way to face unexpected challenges is to smile and press on. In the grand scheme of things, the small details will never overshadow the bigger picture and what truly holds importance in life. Watching someone who navigates life’s many obstacles with elegance, grace, and humility, I aspire to emulate her example every day. —Eliseé Browchuk, marketing manager of experiences
“No one needs to know the details of why you’re late or need to cancel”
While my mother normally says this in the context of work meetings and emails, I think it speaks to the larger truth that “excuses” are just that—excuses. The excuse itself (not the fact of being late) makes you look more guilty of something, and less professionally capable. Everyone understands that things come up. No one really cares what came up. —Lucy Dolan-Zalaznick, senior associate, creative development, social visuals
“It’s not the setback that s important—it s what you do next”
While I grew up in a pretty stoic environment—small town, rural state on the High Plains—in which actions always spoke louder than words or, heaven forbid, feelings, I always felt my mom’s love and her support in everything I did. That said: After a tough loss, a blown game, a middling performance on something or other—or, in one very memorable moment, having been overlooked for some award or honor that I was very much expecting to come my way and throwing myself on my bed after concluding that my once-glorious life was now in tatters—my mom was always there for me. Not to sympathize or to tell me how wronged I had been or how deserving I was, as I think I was hoping, but to tell me, calmly and with love: It’s okay if you need to feel sorry for yourself for a little bit—but it’s not the loss, or the setback, or the disappointment that’s important. It’s how you handle it—and what you do next. —Corey Seymour, senior editor
“You decide”
During one of my mom’s visits when I was in college, my friends and I dragged her to a bar on the other side of town, far from campus, to see a band play. When one roommate disclosed her crush on the drummer, my mom paused before unleashing her now famous slogan on us: “You decide.” It was meant as a rallying cry to not passively wait around for something to happen to you, but to figure out what you want, and to do something about it. This was not just romantic advice, but a lesson in agency in all aspects of life. It was an especially potent message for three young women trying to figure out the world and our place in it. The catchphrase was quickly adopted by my friends—both back then and in the many years since. It’s something I always come back to: that I don’t need permission, that I can always decide for myself. —Grace Edquist, copy director
“Be brave”
Rather than dispensing bite-sized nuggets of wisdom, my mom has always led by example. I’ve watched her model compassion for strangers, an ironclad work ethic, and driving with plenty of room between her and the car in front of her. But I do remember her encouraging me to be brave, which—as a perennially anxious child...and adult—is often easier said than done. I’ve learned from her that bravery is a choice, whether that means something major like accepting a job and move across the country with a month’s notice, or something as minor as speaking my mind over staying quiet. Bravery is a practice that I’m still learning, but luckily I’ve got a great role model to look to. —Hannah Jackson, fashion writer
“You can always go ‘Downtown’”
When I was very little, my mother sang me Petula Clark’s 1965 song, “Downtown.” In doing so, she reminded me that the world is never so dark and that community is never far away. During the long, bright summers, I walked on a little stone wall, holding her hand, as we strolled into Vineyard Haven, the seaside village where we spent the season. “When you’ve got the worries...” she chimed, almost under her breath, “all the noise and hurry seems to help, I know.” I still remind myself of that. —Ian Malone, experiences manager
“All you need is one good friend”
Every time I’ve been nervous in a new social setting throughout my life—from first days of school to summers at sleepaway camp to tearful goodbye hugs in front of my freshman college dorm—my mom has reminded me: “All you need is one good friend.” Someone gave a friend of hers this advice once, and apparently it stuck. While I took the lesson a little too literally in high school, I’ve always garnered confidence and self-assurance from forming true friendships, and my relationship with my BFF circle makes me feel like I can do anything. —Emma Specter, culture writer
“Follow your instincts and listen to your heart”
As a Libra sun, I am naturally indecisive about everything I do. Major choices such as which college to attend or which major to choose weighed heavily on my mind, as did minor decisions like what to eat for dinner. The classic yet reliable advice of trusting my gut has been the North Star throughout my life. Constantly hearing my mom give me that reminder has helped me to develop confidence, navigate tough decisions, and set boundaries. At the end of the day, I began to realize I knew the answers to all of these questions all along, but I had to have the confidence to trust myself. Once I began to fully lean into my own decisions, I started to become happier and create the life that I always wanted. —Taylor Anderson, associate social media manager
“Be kind”
My mom’s best advice is the simplest: “Be kind.” When I was in my 20s and she visited me in New York, I’d be embarrassed when she greeted people in my neighborhood with a smile and a “Good morning.” Now, I find myself doing that as I make my way to work. There are few easier ways to make myself feel better. —Nicole Phelps, global director, Vogue Runway and Vogue Business
“Darling, go to bed”
“Darling, go to bed.” That was always my mum’s advice to me, her overly conscientious child. As a teenager I would spend hours studying late into the night for fear of failure. Sleep seemed like such an epic waste of time. I was desperate to know all the things inside out, back to front. Back then I had no idea just how important it is to rest your mind, take a break, look away from the screen. She was the first person to teach me the importance of self-care, maybe because she never had a spare moment to herself. She worked nights for decades, barely slept a wink so she could be there for us during the day. Did the most for us. It wrecked her health. And that’s always something that hurts my heart. Now when I spend time with her, I try and remember those words. I indulge in restful things with her. During her cancer treatment she discovered mindfulness. Every now and again we’ll lie on the floor before bedtime and play one of her yoga nidra meditations. By the end of it we’re usually just giggling together, but it feels so nice just to be still with her. —Chioma Nnadi, head of editorial content, British Vogue
“Actions speak louder than words”
Rather than giving advice, my mother has shown me the way by example. My mom showed me how compassion could turn a volunteer role into a full-time job helping children with disabilities. Her determination and dedication have shown me that women are a force to be reckoned with. She showed me how love, humor, and friendship strengthen a marriage of 60 years. Recently, with the passing of my sweet father, my mom has shown me the honesty of dealing with great loss—and the gratitude of great love. On this Mother’s Day and every day, my mom has shown me that actions speak louder than words. —Virginia Smith, global head of fashion network
“Read”
When my mother moved to the US from Korea as a young woman, she stuffed her suitcases with books she couldn’t part with. When I was little, and wore a Beauty and the Beast costume habitually, my mother told me Belle was beautiful because she read a lot of books. I would be too if I did the same. I never quite ended up looking like my favorite Disney heroine, but the advice took me to, as Belle says, “far off places, daring sword fights, magic spells, a prince in disguise.” Thank you, Mom. —Jane Chun, senior digital line editor
“Drive with your passengers’ psychological wellbeing in mind”
My mom taught me to look people in the eye, set my knife and fork at four o’clock, drive a car with my “passengers’ psychological wellbeing in mind,” and watch a Tom Cruise movie whenever I need to alleviate stress. —Taylor Antrim, global network lead and US deputy editor, Vogue
“They’ll just have to wait”
My mother showed me the power of a well-timed joke. In my post-college penury, I often thought to her genius line—which I believe was specifically about my outstanding student loans, but can really be used whenever you’re falling behind: “They’ll just have to wait.” —Jessie Heyman, executive editor, Vogue.com
“Don’t ever be impressed by anything”
To this day, my mom has given me the best advice I’ve ever gotten: Don’t ever be impressed by anything. She meant this more in regards to material possessions, but at the end of the day, we all end up the same way. —Liana Satenstein, contributing writer
“Write it all down”
Since I was little, my mom’s advice has been of the actionable kind: take advantage of the public library, don’t let your hair get dry, go out and do that thing instead of canceling and staying home, listen to the original cast recording before seeing the show, write it all down. I’ve not always listened, but she’s always been right. —Marley Marius, features editor
“This too shall pass”
The best advice my mother has given me? For once, I’m stuck. My fingers have been hovering over the keyboard for at least 20 minutes. If I’m being honest, there are so many words my mom has shared with me, or occasionally scribbled on pretty stationary, only to leave on my bed for me to find when I least expected it. The one phrase I keep coming back to is “This too shall pass.” It’s a mantra she repeatedly tells me when I am going through a challenging time, or when I just feel stuck in a rut. It’s her way of reassuring me that everything, ultimately, will be just fine—the world keeps spinning, after all. Over the years, on nights I needed it most, she has even used her mother’s instinct to sign her texts with these words. It’s our love language, I guess—so much so that the phrase is tattooed on my ribs in her handwriting, as a reminder I intend to keep forever. —Clarissa Schmidt, commerce producer
