The Brides Wore Custom One/Of for Their Santa Barbara Wedding Over Halloween Weekend
By the end of their first date at a cocktail bar in January 2022, Caroline Feeley and Rebecca Durr were both smiling ear to ear. Rebecca says, “I’ll always remember watching Caroline back into a tree while saying goodbye, and her beanie getting stuck hanging on a tree branch—hilarious and unforgettable.” So it isn’t surprising that it only took a few weeks for the two to become an official couple. With a PhD in Chemistry, a MBA, and a career in AI, Rebecca says that she and Caroline—who has a background in finance and is working to solve housing affordability—found that numbers and data proved to be their love language. “We use statistics analogies in real life, nerd out over cool data visualizations, and rationalize everything to a fault,” she says. “Chemistry and finance remain evolving mysteries to us both; it’s fun to keep learning from each other about things we’re definitely not experts in.”
One thing that didn’t remain a mystery to the couple? Which of the pair would end up proposing. “Caroline said she wanted to be the one who proposed, way too early in our relationship—like sub-10 dates,” jokes Rebecca. “I’m not even sure we were officially dating at the time!” Caroline adds, “It wasn’t a massive surprise since we’d designed our rings together, but I wanted to make it meaningful for her.” She decided to pop the question in October 2023 on a trip they planned to Santa Barbara, where Rebecca went to college. Caroline notes, “I think [she] really found herself in California, and Santa Barbara was a big part of that.” While Rebecca was giving Caroline a campus tour, Caroline found a perfect location on Google Maps satellite view to propose along the way. “It was just the two of us in this little spot overlooking the ocean, and it was a great, great moment. Right after, Becca asked me if I’d marry her,” says Caroline. “Of course, I said ‘yes.’ We had this wonderful moment on the cliffs, watching the waves together.”
When deciding on a location to tie the knot, it had to fit a few criteria. “Our priorities were simple: good food, good drinks, and having all our loved ones together to celebrate,” Rebecca says. It also needed to be an easy locale to reach from a major airport, as guests were flying in from around the country. After considering Maine and Colorado—where the brides had personal ties—they eventually settled on Santa Barbara. ”Santa Barbara already held a special place in our hearts—we got engaged there, and the weekend of our engagement, we attended our good friends’ wedding at the Santa Barbara Historical Museum. The venue was stunning, perfectly capturing the warmth and magic of a Santa Barbara evening,” says Caroline. “It was on our short list from the start, and after evaluating our options (with plenty of beautiful spreadsheets), we came full circle and chose it.”
With the date set, November 2, 2024, the brides went all in on bringing the big event to life. Although they admit that planning as a queer couple came with its challenges—mostly as there’s less of a set path. “It felt like building a plane while flying it,” Rebecca describes. “I had complicated feelings about some of the underlying principles of marriage, historically, so we were intentional about embracing the traditional norms that resonated with us and letting go of the ones that didn’t. As a lesbian couple, despite the growing normalization of queerness in society, we felt there was still no clear framework to follow.”
“Becca and I are both very thoughtful people, and we want to do things for the right reasons,” Caroline explains. “That definitely made the process more challenging, but the upside is that you end up with something you’re happy with and really reflects who you are, rather than just following traditions because someone says you should.”
Working with Jill Remy of Jill Co. Events was helpful in guiding Rebecca and Caroline toward their aesthetic for the weekend. “It’s hard to imagine where we’d be without her vision, planning, and execution (and patience!),” says Rebecca. “She kept us organized and calm throughout the process; we often joked that she was our new therapist.” They share that neither of them even had Pinterest, so wrapping their minds around what they would want for florals or other decor elements was tricky. “Knowing our general vibe by that point, Jill suggested we work with Breanna Jane for our flowers, and they worked behind the scenes to design something she knew would resonate with us,” says Rebecca. “By the time we walked into the room for the floral mock-up, we were already looking at a design we loved: simple yet interesting, organic, and elegant.”
They also found an incredible creative collaborator in Patricia Voto, founder of One/Of. Caroline’s sister and mother had worked with her in the past, and her custom-first approach was a natural fit for the couple. “The challenge was that, in the beginning, neither Caroline nor I really knew what we wanted (a common theme in our planning process),” says Rebecca. “When Patricia asked for outfit inspiration or examples of looks I liked, I scoured the internet for photos of queer weddings and celebrities on the red carpet, but nothing felt quite right. Stepping into her atelier for the first time, I was greeted by a vibrant full-wall display of her selected seasonal fabric swatches, like walking into an artist’s palette come to life, which immediately got me excited. Any anxiety about what am I going to wear?! vanished when I saw her styles and the possibilities her designs offered.”
