Astrology is a wonderful way to connect with ourselves and others. The stars can give us insight as to how we love and the type of person we love, as well as how we relate generally with one another; however, when looking to our zodiac signs to understand our compatibility with another person, we typically check out after looking at our Sun signs.
In fact, the Sun sign is merely one morsel of the ten planets that make up a birth chart (the Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto). They each hold a specific quality: the Moon centers on our memories and emotions, Mercury represents communication and travel, Venus deals with love and money, Mars shows our actions and passions, Jupiter denotes philosophy and luck, Saturn is authority and responsibilities, Uranus relates to rebellions and innovations, Neptune focuses on dreams and creativity, and Pluto brings transformation and augmentation.
The Sun, which depicts our ego and drive, is merely one-tenth of the full picture. Not to mention the rising, which is the ascending zodiac sign in the eastern horizon at the time and location of birth. Many believe it holds more power than the Sun sign, because it flavors our persona and outward qualities. As you can see, there is so much to take into consideration—which is why basing a romantic relationship on one’s Sun sign alone can be a problem.
Compatibility in two charts can be based on how the vast majority of planets, aside from the Sun, interact with each other. For example, if your Venus sign, which is the planet of love, is in opposition—an aspect between them that is 180 degrees apart, in a “sister sign” (example: your Venus is in Cancer and theirs is in Capricorn)—it brings an instant attraction, because you both have varying ways of expressing your emotions but typically find the middle ground. Having their Mars, the planet of sex, link up with your Venus in the same sign (or vice versa) can denote a steamy, sensual alignment.
At times, this leads to people with strong ties between their Sun signs, such as Taurus and Leo, Gemini and Scorpio, etc. Even then, couples with unfavorable Star sign synastry can last in the long term. Harsh planetary afflictions give couples a goal to work towards, keeping the dynamic interesting. People have the desire to evolve together, and get past the minor annoyances of a Gemini being too flighty for an intense Scorpio or a Leo’s dramatics overshadowing Taurus’s kindness. Astrology sets the tone, but it’s up to us to put the effort and energy into relationships. No one wants to take the easy route—especially in love. When it’s too comfortable, people experience boredom. We hunger for sparks and fireworks, not complacency.
When looking at the whole birth chart, it’s important to keep in mind that planets can behave in ways that contradict their usual behavior because the person’s aura and attitude shift the way they harness the cosmos. Are they using it to its highest or lowest potential? A person might have Pluto, an intense planet, orbiting their partner’s Venus, suggesting triangular dynamics. I’ve seen it present a dynamic and evolutionary relationship that both parties are consumed by. Their careers are entangled, so they have to find a balance between romance and professional aspirations. On the flipside, I’ve seen it lead to competitiveness and jealousy.
In my experience, two aspects never work out: Saturn and nodal oppositions. When the Saturn sign in a chart is in a juxtaposing sign of another, it can bring out frustrations that hinder the relationship from growing. Issues of authenticity, reliability, and maturity arise. When the North Nodes of Destiny are in reverse order, it allows both individuals to heal from the past life karma they share, but pulls them apart because they’re unable to work through those problems. Of course, a duo can get through this; however, it may take time to learn to trust again.
The most important place to scrutinize is the Moon, to see what parallels it makes to other planets. The Moon wills the chart and can make a wishy-washy Libra decisive and direct. It is our emotional DNA, offering insight into our intuition, hearts, and memories. We learn how to love and nurture from the Moon, as well as how to understand the parts of ourselves that we cannot explain.
The rising sign is second to the Moon, as it reveals a unique outlook on the type of person we are attracting. The descendant, or seventh house of intimacy, is the opposite sign of the ascendant, which describes our ideal mate. It may even show their zodiac sign or how we perceive them. Also, it gives us more depth. Instead of being an empathetic Pisces, a Capricorn rising might make you stringent and favor Cancer energy (or someone who takes care of you). Please note that, in astrology, particularly with our birth charts, we project into the world, so we get what we give.
As you can see, there is a lot to consider before relying on Sun signs to form relationships. My final piece of advice is never to look at a birth chart before a first date. Get to know the person and then ask celestial questions. Not judging and maintaining an open heart could help you find love—even if they are a Gemini.