Right now, you are most likely crying. No, not crying—it’s more like a bellowing, tumultuous sob that quakes throughout your whole body. And even when you aren’t hysterically wailing—you are thinking about letting those crocodile tears roll down your cheeks. When you look in the mirror, you can bag groceries with those under-eye circles from lack of sleep, you feel horrible because maybe you can’t eat—or maybe you are eating way too much—and of course, you are alone. Our condolences! You have just gone through a miserable breakup.
So what’s your first reaction to solving this heart-wrenching feeling? Maybe you read advice columns by a 90-year-old prissy doctor who tells you to get ahold of yourself and stop acting like a hysterical mess! Maybe you consult with your friends who tell you to hop on Tinder, JDate, ChristianMingle, etc., and start swiping left, start clicking “Match,” and maybe start converting! Who cares if it has been a day, a week, or a month, and that you still deeply miss your ex—"Get back out there and get over it," they say. But guess what? They re wrong.
The art of managing the breakup is about not forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do, because you will regret it. Instead, it’s time to sit shiva on the death of your relationship and embrace the somber mourning period. The first thing? Do what you want. You want to cry? Buy a pack of Kleenex! Want to take a personal day? Take one! Or even two! (Just don t get fired.) Want to sit down with your new friends Ben Jerry and cram a pint of Cherry Garcia in your mouth? Open wide! You are upset—and that is totally fine. You deserve some “me time”: some Netflix reruns and some soul-searching. The last thing you need is to get done up and feign interest in a date you don’t want to be on that you will think make things better. Look: The key to this whole thing? No dressing up necessary.
Instead, why not make your temporary stint as a hermit, well, chic? Buy yourself some loose sweats (in cloudy gray if possible), some boyfriend-style jeans for comfort, a cashmere sweater because you deserve it, and of course, some macarons and waterproof mascara. We promise: After you let yourself fully delve into the mourning period, you’ll get over your breakup twice as fast, and before you know it, you’ll see the light and maybe, you’ll even swipe right again.
