Growing Up, Coming Out is a series of personal reflections from queer American designers, released every day this month.
I first realized I might be queer when I watched Truth or Dare, the Madonna documentary. I just really loved her relationship with her dancers, and their confidence—they all just had this unapologetic love for dance and music and fashion. I felt like I understood them, and that they would understand me.
At school, I didn t really excel at academics or sports, but I had a lot of female friends. I loved looking at people s makeup and nail polish and talking to them about what they were wearing. We’d discuss fashion and beauty, and I kind of became their go-to when it was time to pick an outfit or a hairstyle for prom. I loved helping them to feel beautiful.
One thing that s always been important for me is pushing back against the conditioning around gay men, especially in their 20s to 30s, to be overtly masculine, which I think comes from trying to avoid being noticed as being gay when you’re younger. Embracing your femininity is something that should be celebrated, even though that was a struggle for me at times.
The industry has long been supportive of white, gay, male designers, but it s exciting now to see a more diverse range of voices being celebrated—this new generation of Black designers, designers of color, trans and nonbinary designers—but there s still so much work to be done.