Anyone who fantasizes about the new and improved version of themselves that awaits on the other side of the ball drop can relate to the special blend of optimism and self-criticism that the New Year often holds. Many of us will want to press reset with a resolution—or, more likely, several.
If only the numbers were better in our favor. British psychology professor Richard Wiseman tracked over 3,000 people who’d committed to a variety of resolutions, from going to the gym to drinking less. At the end of the year, only 12% of the group had stuck with their program. A similar study out of the University of Scranton saw slightly better numbers, with a whopping 19% success rate.
But even if your own track record has been similarly spotty, that doesn’t mean you can’t try. Self-improvement is a life-long process—and it doesn’t have to be filled with self-criticism, self-flagellation, and shame. Below, experts share some tips on how to make New Year’s resolutions that have a better chance of sticking without running yourself through the grinder. As Maya Angelou so famously said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
What makes a good New Year’s resolution?
It’s best to keep your goals realistic. “Most people struggle with resolutions because they’re often too broad, overly ambitious, or disconnected from daily life,” explains integrative psychotherapist Jenny Mahlum of New York Counseling. “Real change isn’t about flipping a switch; it’s about building a foundation.”
With that in mind, she recommends making like Bill Murray in What About Bob? and focusing on baby steps. “Instead of resolving to ‘work out every day,’ make a goal to walk into the gym and spend just two minutes there,” Mahlum says. “Or, start by walking up one extra flight of stairs. Though these actions may seem tiny, they are achievable, consistent, and create momentum. Once you’ve built the habit, you can gradually increase the effort. Starting small and sustainable is how you create long-term change without burning out.”
Blessedly, people seem to be embracing more sustainable, micro-resolutions over big, high-pressure goals as of late. According to a recent study of 2,000 people by Headway, 42% say they don’t have the mental space to make major life changes anyway. Instead, they’re making simpler New Year’s resolutions like slowing down (68%), putting less pressure on themselves (38%), and just enjoying life (29%).
“People aren’t losing ambition—they’re finally being realistic about what a healthy life is,” explains Thalia-Maria Tourikis, certified health coach and burnout prevention expert at Headway. “Years of overworking, burnout, constant financial stress, and nonstop digital noise have taken a toll on the current state of things. Smaller, sustainable goals compound over the long run, which aligns better with keeping yourself emotionally stable.”
How many resolutions should you set?
This also applies to the number of resolutions you set. “Opt for three to five resolutions,” Tourikis suggests. “The fewer, the better.”
Keeping your list of resolutions short and sweet will help you stay consistent and avoid burnout. “When you remember that each goal requires small, daily actions, even a short list can represent a meaningful commitment,” Tourikis says.
Speaking of lists, it’s also a good idea to actually write one out. “Handwriting activates specific parts of the brain, making it easier to recognize our intention,” says Tourikis. “It also encourages accountability and helps to change self-perception. When we write our plans and check off what we have accomplished, we receive additional satisfaction from what we have done, which feels like a buy-one-get-one-free deal.”
Know your why
No matter how big or small the resolution, it’s bound to fall through the cracks unless you work out a compelling case for making it in the first place. In other words, it is imperative that you “have a why,” says Liz Moody, personal growth expert and host of the Liz Moody podcast. “I like to think about how I could be a different person next year than I was last year, and I’ll identify the broader impact that my resolution might have.”
For example, a vow to eat more vegetables could result in more energy and cleaner skin. Or an exercise-based resolution could help lessen anxiety and sleep issues. “A lot of people say I want to lose weight, but they don’t have a reason except that society tells them to lose weight. It’s hard to stick with something if it’s based on societal messaging but not tapping into deeper motivations,” Moody says. So ask yourself: Why am I doing this? And if you can’t find the answer, maybe let it go. Doing things for purely aesthetic reasons tends not to work. “People love us regardless of our abs,” she says. “But if you can figure out how a resolution will make you feel? Now that is a powerful motivator.
Try values, not goals
Similarly, our resolutions have a better chance of sticking if we set them to reflect our moral values, says Marwa Azab Ph.D., a psychology professor at Cal State University Long Beach. “It’s been a year of moral injury, and finding something meaningful is the best thing that you can do to feel better,” she says. A distinction she likes to make is the difference between being purposeful and being meaningful, defining the latter as anything relating to our inner values. “Instead of focusing on goals, pick your top three values, and no matter how low the world gets you, commit to never compromising.”
Values are easier to keep than goals, she says. “A diet is a goal, and if you don’t keep it then you say: I ruined it, forget it. But when you commit to being, say, genuine or exercising gratitude, then you’re more likely to go the course. The benefits outshine those of any ab workout routine. “Life is a series of big tests and small tests, and if you don’t veer from your original value, you’ll be more comfortable in your skin.”
Tune into your intuition
We’re bound to drop the ball when we commit to things that run against our true desires, says Ellen Vora MD, a psychiatrist and author of The Anatomy of Anxiety. If we hone our ability to listen to our intuition and hear what our bodies need most, she says, we might not even need to make hardcore resolutions anymore. “Our society has us bouncing between self-flagellation and self-care in a way that drives us crazy, but there is a middle ground. Our bodies know what they need at any given moment,” she says. “Deep down, I know if I crave spending time in nature or hanging out with my daughter or eating something nourishing.”
For those of us who aren’t (yet) skilled at tuning into the messages from within, she suggests incorporating the idea of listening to ourselves in our resolutions. “Instead of: I’m going to exercise everyday, what if we said ‘I’m going to move when I need to move’ and ‘I’m going to rest when I need to rest’? Our bodies really know best.”
Don’t go it alone
To make all this easier, Jay Van Bavel, a professor of psychology at NYU and author of Power of Us, says that it’s also essential to tap into the power of community: “Anxiety and depression are on the rise, and we’re experiencing a loneliness epidemic,” he explains. “America has always been the most individualistic society on earth and the pandemic and technology have put this truth on steroids.” A lack of community, or even a social calendar that is chockablock with commitments but devoid of longer periods of hang time, is directly connected to our modern ailments.
Social connection, he promises, is the path to a better chance of success. He recommends joining a running group, finding a dependable gym buddy, or, if you’re a writer like him, signing up for a writers’ group. His group of five meets for lunch once a month and makes a point to share their goals for the next few weeks. “I’ll say I plan to outline the intro of this paper, or I’ll apply for that grant,” he says. “You have something to work toward because you know you’re being held to account. And you’re killing two birds with one stone since social connection is intrinsically rewarding.”
Focus on health, not dieting
Starvation diets, or even fad diets such as the fat-heavy keto diet, are not your friend, as they tend to whittle away your muscle mass and cause inflammation, according to Steven Gundry M.D., medical director of the International Heart and Lung Institute in Palm Springs. The wellness guru believes that the secret to dieting is feeding your gut microbiome, which is the trillions of bacteria, viruses and fungi that inhabit your intestinal tract and bear huge impact on your weight and health. He was following a low-fat diet, running 30 miles a week and going to the gym one hour a day, but it wasn’t until he started living—and eating—in service to his microbiome that he lost 50 pounds in a year.
Processed foods damage our microbiomes, but a host of nutrient- and fiber-rich foods will help us get in fighting form. “There was an assumption that the microbiome likes to eat prebiotic fibers like mushrooms, artichokes, asparagus and sweet potatoes, all of which have soluble fiber. But there’s a punchline,” he says. "You can eat all the soluble fiber in the world but if you don’t also eat fermented foods like yogurt or kefir or kombucha or vinegar, you’re not feeding your microbiome the right combination and you won’t sent the right messages to your brain that say you don’t need to keep looking for more food.”
Besides, prioritizing your health means you’re more likely to create habits that stick. “Diets rarely produce results in the long run, but healthy eating habits do,” Tourikis says. “Instead of cutting out foods you enjoy, focus on balance and being mindful of how and what you eat.”
Examine your environment
When it comes to achieving our goals, a positive attitude can make all the difference—yet, we often neglect to consider the impact our homes have on our mindsets. “Subconsciously, our nervous system responds to our environment,” explains Eryn Oruncak, an interior designer who is certified in neuroaesthetics, a discipline that explores how our bodies and brains respond to spaces. “Your home should not only trigger feelings of happiness and strength, but also serve you in completing your daily routines.”
Get real with yourself about how your space contributes to a sense of ease. Would adding a bench in the hallway encourage you to put on your running shoes? Would amping up the wattage in your desk lamp help improve your focus? “Changing something little can have the biggest shift,” Oruncak says. “The point is to be deliberate in identifying how you want to think and feel, and then thoughtfully set up your space to strengthen your mind and nervous system. Goals are easier to achieve without distraction, obstacles, or added steps.”
Remember, it’s all about playing the long game. “Don’t expect instant results. Our brains are wired to prioritize what feels good right now, which is why we often drift back to behaviors that offer immediate gratification, even when we consciously value long-term wellbeing,” Tourikis says. “If you don’t fully achieve every goal by the end of the year, that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Progress is still progress, and something done imperfectly is always more powerful than something never started.”
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