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You might imagine that Mikey Madison is far too serious an actor to entertain Dogue, Vogue’s summer package that makes cover stars out of our favorite celebri-dogs. Nobody would blame you—the woman has an Academy Award, for God’s sake. But oh, how wrong you would be! (Case in point, the email from her publicist upon receiving the pitch: “MOST EXCITING NEWS!!! We’ve been talking about this goal for the last year.”)
Madison is the proud mother of three Chihuahuas: Peaches, an 11-month-old long-haired Chihuahua; Birdie, also 11 months, a short-haired Chihuahua; and Jam, a 2-year-old Chihuahua mix, whom she rescued from Shay’s Strays Animal Rescue. “They’re not [biological siblings], but they’re my adopted children,” Madison clarifies on a phone call from Los Angeles. “So they’re siblings.” The trio is a well-balanced bunch. While Madison describes the docile Peaches and Birdie as “basically rodents,” rambunctious Jam is “borderline human.”
In Madison’s Los Angeles backyard on a recent gray morning, Jam tears into a stray conifer, scattering seeds in his wake. (Birdie surveys the wreckage and gingerly picks up a small seed for herself.) “If you opened up his belly, it would be just pine cones inside,” Madison says of Jam. While the actor is no stranger to cover shoots, it’s the dogs’ turn to shoot their Dogue cover. “I am a very proud stage mom,” she says.
Madison gamely got her hands dirty in the name of the shot, wrangling the dogs for a group photo, hoisting them into the air like baby Simba, and costuming them in tiny hats. On that note: She came extremely well stocked in the wardrobe department. She dressed Peaches in a pink cowboy hat and Birdie in a green cap with a crochet toadstool protruding out of her noggin, and she wrestled her “problem child” Jam into a red knit strawberry cap with ear holes. Let’s be honest: Wearing a silly little hat might feel emasculating. Madison tries to quell this feeling in Jam: “I’m an alpha,” she chirps in a high-pitched voice to the Chihuahua folded up in her arms.
Madison first appeared on our Dogue radar in the run-up to awards season, when she arrived on the set of Jimmy Kimmel Live! dressed in head-to-toe Jonathan Anderson Loewe. She was pulled by Jam, who wore a Burberry harness, eyes alight with a slightly feral sense of mischief. Later that evening Madison was photographed again walking Jam and dressed in a burgundy velvet bodycon Mugler dress and strappy pewter heels.
Less than a month after her Oscar win, Madison was spotted in New York, the portrait of a noughties Hollywood starlet dressed in a teal Chloé coat and holding Peaches in one hand and a coffee cup (not much smaller than the dog) in the other. The following day Birdie got in on the action, the microscopic pups taking up each of her hands.
While Peaches and Birdie are seasoned travelers (“They’ve been to New York multiple times, they’ve been all over Europe”), Jam stays at his home base in Los Angeles due to some—ahem—behavioral issues. Or, as Madison puts it, he’s “a bit more of a menace.” While all three dogs are guilty of the same vice—barking at men—Jam is an especially humbling pup: Not even Oscar winners, it seems, are exempt from picking up poop on their carpet.
Still, one look at these chihuahuas—especially in their jaunty chapeaux—is enough to melt even the coldest of hearts. “I am obsessed with them, and everyone who meets my dogs becomes obsessed with them as well,” Madison says. We concur!
Below, Mikey Madison answers the Dogue questionnaire.
What are your dogs’ best qualities?
Peaches is very serene most of the time. She doesn’t really like to play. She just likes to chill and be in someone’s lap. I can’t say that she’s ever had a puppy phase.
Birdie’s very genuine. When she wakes up in the morning, she’s just so happy to be alive. Every emotion that comes out of her is completely pure, and it’s just so endearing.
I cannot say the same for Jam. He is a bit more of a menace, but his best quality is how snugly he is. He will get under the covers and snuggle all day long. It’s the best if I’m just having a cozy day or I’m sick, he’s just there with me under the covers.
Who would voice your dogs in a movie?
Carol Kane would voice Birdie. He’s not here anymore, but Andy Kaufman as Latka from Taxi would voice Jam, and Michelle Yeoh would voice Peaches.
Do you use a special voice to talk to your dogs?
I do. It’s high-pitched and sometimes has a Southern twang—I don’t know why, I am from Los Angeles—or I’ll sing to them in this Southern voice. It’s horrible. It definitely rots my brain, but I can’t stop it.
What are your dogs’ weirdest nicknames, and how did you come up with them?
I call Jam Bubba. I call them all Bug, but I mostly call Birdie Bug because she’s like two and a half pounds, so she is just a little bug that runs around my house.
Where is one place you wish you could take your dogs?
I take Peaches and Birdie pretty much everywhere. They’ve been to New York multiple times, they’ve been all over Europe. I haven’t traveled with Jam yet. I wish I could, but he has some behavioral issues, so I just don’t think that he is ready for that yet. But one day.
Where is the strangest place you’ve taken your dogs?
Airplane bathrooms.
If you could tell your dogs one thing, what would it be?
I would tell Jam that he needs to poop outside and the carpet is not an option anymore. He’s too old for that; it’s not okay. I want him to know that I love him no matter what, but he needs to figure that out. I would tell Peaches and Birdie that they’re perfect, but I would tell Birdie that she needs to stop barking at men. It’s bad. She really doesn’t like my twin brother—for no reason at all! He stayed with me when we were in London for a week, and she barked at him every time he stood up. It was exhausting at a certain point.
What is the most human thing your dogs do?
Jam is borderline human. He is extremely neurotic. He has so many worries. He has these really human eyes, and he side-eyes me all day long, which is uncomfortable. Peaches and Birdie, there’s no human trait at all. They’re basically rodents.
What is the most dog thing your dogs do?
They all bark at men.
What are their full names?
Jam is Larrabe Strawberry Jam, but I just call him Jammy, Jambo, Jamachon, Jambarino.
Peaches—she’s just Peaches. I call her Peachy Mama. Sometimes I call her Muffin Mouse because I was going to name her Muffin. Birdie is just Bird or Birdster.
Astrological sign?
Jam is an Aries because the rescue said he was born on the same day as me. Peaches and Birdie are August, so they’re Leos or Virgos.
Favorite toy?
Peaches and Bird love to steal socks. They’re not really toy girlies. Jam loves toys. He steals everything. He loves cardboard, plastic, silk. He likes tearing paper into little pieces. He has literally a hundred toys, but he prefers trash. He loves important documents or a leather shoe.
Favorite meal?
They all love chicken, and Jam likes a couple of pieces of fresh popcorn now and then. He loves blueberries.
Worst habit?
Well, Jam can’t seem to get a handle on going number two outside all the time. I keep telling him it’s simple, but he’s so neurotic. He feels like he needs to hold it and do it in the privacy of his own home. Peach, I would say her worst habit is scratching at my legs when she wants something. Birdie is a whiner. If I don’t pick her up and I’m not holding her all the time, she whines.
Strangest habit?
Birdie loves to lick me. Jam has way too many weird habits. It just all adds to his charm, but there are too many to name. And then Peaches doesn’t really have any bad habits. She’s kind of perfect.
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