In 1948, Vogue published its 658-page Book of Etiquette, compiled by editor Millicent Fenwick, featuring how-tos, dos and don’ts, and the proper politesse for a remarkably varied set of scenarios. But as Fenwick writes in the introduction: “Etiquette is based on tradition, and yet it can change.” Some 75 years later, Oh, Behave! is a new monthly Vogue column in which experts sound off on today’s ever-evolving social etiquette.
Headlines about crumbling decorum at 30,000 feet are nothing new, and midair horror stories are all too familiar—armrest wars, barefoot wanderers, mystery smells. As the summer travel season barrels toward its grand finale over Labor Day weekend, a reminder of how to behave in the skies feels not just timely, but urgent.
This month’s Oh, Behave! etiquette column assembles two authorities on the matter. Fran Drescher—yes, The Nanny herself, who theoretically knows how to keep everyone in line at 30,000 feet—is also the current president of SAG-AFTRA and, come next month, will be cemented with her own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. She’s logged countless hours in the air, often with her beloved service dog at her feet, and isn’t shy about calling out bad behavior in the cabin.
Alongside her is Olympia of Greece, a contributing editor at Moda Operandi and bona fide fashion girl who grew up learning the finer points of decorum from her mother, Marie-Chantal, Crown Princess of Greece—author of her own etiquette book. Olympia knows exactly where to draw the line… but also when to step right over it, boarding group be damned.
Together, they weigh in on the hot-button issues of summer flying—ditching friends in the TSA line, armrest politics, seat-swapping negotiations, and the moral hazards of photographing celebrities mid-flight. Buckle up: their takes may cause mild turbulence.
Vogue: If you have TSA PreCheck, is it rude to ditch your travel companions who do not?
Olympia: I am really giggling about this because I’m a hypocrite about it: I wouldn’t want to be ditched, but also it’s not my fault if you don’t have TSA PreCheck. I’m not gonna wait in the queue for that long! My youngest brother didn’t have TSA PreCheck, and he was traveling with another brother of mine, and my brother left him. So, I’d probably leave; it’s probably really rude, but I’ll see them on the other side. It’s like… apply for TSA pre-check!
Drescher: Definitely not, and I do it all the time. I feel like I went to the trouble of getting my TSA and my Global Entry, and I encourage everybody else to do the same. I’ll just meet them at the lounge!
If you’re running late for your flight, is it acceptable to cut the check-in/security lines?
Olympia: I definitely think it is. I’ve had a lot of people do it to me. I’m like, go—go make your flight. We’ve all been there. You gotta do what you gotta do to get on that plane. I don’t like to miss my flight—you know those jokes on TikTok where they’re like the dads before a flight, and they’re checking their passports 10 times? That s me. If you’re traveling with me, you’re going to the airport early.
Drescher: I definitely think if you’re at risk of missing a flight, anybody should be given the courtesy of jumping to the front of the line. Why bust people’s balls when they’re trying to just make a flight? You would want the same courtesy. Since I travel with an airport greeter, I get to go through different lines to begin with. But in terms of helping someone else, I think that it’s nice to be nice.
Is it ever acceptable to try board sooner than your group is called?
Olympia: I have, because it’s all about getting your bag up above your seat. That stresses me out the most. I don’t want my bag to be under the plane, so I have definitely wiggled my way in earlier than needed to. Sometimes you get away with it if they’re not checking, but sometimes it will do the red alert when you scan your boarding pass, and I just pretend I didn’t realize.
Drescher: First of all, I don’t think I’m ever in group six. I’m always in group one, but hypothetically? I think that you have to stay with your group.
Can you claim the overhead bin space away from your own seat?
Olympia: I don’t like it when people take my space, so I don’t want to do that to someone else! Plus, the last thing I want to do when I get off a plane is to go backwards, not forwards. It’s a nightmare, and it’s really annoying. You pay for your seat, you pay for your overhead bin.
Drescher: Yeah, these are all questions for people that, I guess, don’t travel the way I normally travel, which is actually much more expensive, but it’s the only way I can really go because of my celebrity. I just need to be a little more private, and I don’t wanna make everywhere I go a personal appearance.
Who actually controls the shared armrest?
Olympia: If you are in the middle seat, that is already torture enough for you. So you have every right to have both armrests. The person on the left has the window they can lean on, the person on the right has the aisle, so give the person in the middle that space! I think that’s fair—I’d love to have someone argue against me on this one.
Drescher: Well, I usually travel with a service dog, who’s such a large animal, and we take the whole row, so she’s comfortable on the floor. I wouldn’t sit in a seat without taking the whole row.
Should you ever fully recline your seat on a plane—or is that universally rude?
Olympia: I mean, it’s there for a reason—so why would we not use it? I definitely do. There’s always that annoying moment when the person in front of you does it, but we all have to recline at some point.
Drescher: I normally have difficulty using the flatbeds if I travel with the dog, because she requires the floor space, so I sacrifice the functionality of those seats to be with my service dog. And if I’m traveling in a single-class plane, I don’t really need to recline—I’m usually up ’til three o’clock anyway. But if you are sitting with two strangers and you want to lean back a little, I don’t think it’s rude. I’m forgiving of people. I don’t want to bust anybody’s chops. It’s like, live and let live.
If you’re traveling with children, are you obligated to pre-apologize or bribe your seatmates with gifts?
Olympia: I hate it when people roll their eyes when kids come on—like, we were all children at one point; we all had mothers dealing with us; we are not perfect. Kids are kids! They’re going to freak out. There’s definitely a limit, but I think it’s unfair that parents have to apologize. I had a kid behind me the other day banging on my chair; it’s annoying, but I also want to bang on my seat sometimes, I’m so bored! I have four younger brothers, and I’ve seen how people looked at my mother when we were kids boarding a plane and freaking out. But I did hear this theory: Apparently, if a woman walks in holding kids, people will roll their eyes, but if the husband is holding the children, everyone just looks at him and goes, “Oh! So sweet!”
Drescher: You know, I do worry about kids, especially babies, who cry a lot because I think that the plane is hurting their ears. I don’t think most parents know about Earplanes earplugs for kids. I have to use them because I find flying very painful. Sometimes I want to go over and say something, but I don’t think parents appreciate that, so I kind of just sit with it, but here’s my opportunity!
Can you ask someone to switch seats so you can sit with your travel companion, family, or children?
Olympia: I don’t see the problem if they’re swapping to the same exact seat or maybe even a better seat. But then, recently, I asked a man sitting next to me if he could swap seats with my agent. He would only be moving one row back, but it was actually better for him since he wasn’t as close to the bathroom, and it was a night flight. He refused. So I was like, “Okay, well, I guess you just have to stare at my face the whole time now.”
Drescher: Yes, if it’s an equal seat. If it’s a window, then you gotta have a window to give ’em. If it’s an aisle, then you have to have an aisle to give ’em. But there’s always somebody nearby who is traveling alone and is cool to do it, and I’m always just grateful for their kindness.
Are you required to chat with your seatmate if they seem interested in talking?
Olympia: Even though I might want to sit next to my friend, I don’t chat to anyone on the plane. I like to switch off completely. If someone’s trying to talk to me, I make it obvious by taking my headphones out and then putting them back in—trying to send them a message. I just don’t think that airplanes are where people have great discussions, anyway. But I’ve yet to sit next to a very handsome man. So if that happens, then I’m all for it!
Drescher: Well, you know, it depends. Some people I find interesting, and we end up talking the whole way. Other people, I say, you know, I’m gonna take a nap now.
Is it ever acceptable to remove your shoes on a flight? What about socks?
Olympia: If you take your socks off, that’s unacceptable. No one wants to look at your feet. Shoes? I don’t think you need to take them off on a short flight, but long night flights, yeah, you’re taking your shoes off. But put your shoes on when you go to the bathroom, that’s the worst! You would never walk barefoot or in socks to the airport bathroom—it’s exactly the same, probably even worse. I don’t think it gets cleaned as much.
Drescher: Taking shoes off on the plane is okay. Socks is pushing it. I would not want people to take their socks off. I don’t think you could tell someone not to take their shoes or socks off, though—hopefully they don’t have smelly feet.
Is spraying perfume or cologne mid-flight considered offensive?
Olympia: I think it’s offensive no matter where you are. Everyone has their own scent, but don t spray it around us. I’m not about that. Go to the bathroom.
Drescher: Yes, absolutely. Do not. It’s a big no-no. I don’t want to smell anything, really. I don’t even like when they perfume the wet towels. It is not good. I don’t like smells. I always do unscented with everything, and I don’t think anybody should ever impose in the airspace, in the shared space, in such small quarters, their most likely toxic scent.
What foods are socially acceptable or unacceptable to bring on a plane?
Olympia: I always say, don’t bring like stinky fish or tuna and but then sometimes they serve tuna on the flight. But the less-smelling food, the better. I definitely don’t bring anything fishy on the plane. But like, have I brought barbecue chips before? Yes, probably. And I’m sure I ve offended someone.
Drescher: I would never bring hard-boiled eggs, tuna, sardines—things like that might be a push. I think you really have to consider how smelly it is. That would be the criteria for what’s cool to bring on a flight and what to leave at home.
How much alcohol consumption is acceptable in-flight? Is it rude to get drunk on a plane?
Olympia: I mean, to each their own, but I don’t drink on planes at all. I never was interested in that, but get as drunk as you want as long as it doesn’t disrupt anyone else.
Drescher: Well, I don’t think it’s smart to drink on a plane because drinking is very dehydrating, and you’re already dehydrated, and you’re contributing to your jet lag for sure. But obviously, if you’re gonna drink, you can’t get drunk—that would be insane.
Is it acceptable to film your in-flight skincare and haircare routine (or any TikTok content) mid-cabin?
Olympia: Oh my gosh, if I could see more people doing their skincare routines on the plane, I’d love it! It’s entertaining to see people putting socks in their hair. I find it hilarious. I wouldn’t do it because I m too shy and I just like to keep that to myself, but I’m not against it. Whatever keeps you entertained!
Drescher: Is it acceptable to be showing your followers what your routine is? I do that. Oh, filmed on the airplane? I missed that point. No, no! I hate it when people use their phones in any way that creates a disturbance and again, you are dealing with skin-care products that may have a smell. Because it’s such close quarters, you should really be respectful to the other passengers—sit in your seat, mind your business, and, you know, S.T.F.U.
Can you secretly photograph or film a celebrity seated nearby?
Olympia: No, that’s horrible. People go to fly to just switch off from the world, so having their privacy disrupted is just not nice. I wouldn’t do that.
Drescher: I wouldn’t film anybody on an airplane. I can see where people might fan out when they see somebody, but personally, as a celebrity, I appreciate it when they ask me, “Can I take a picture?” When I catch them and they didn’t have the courtesy to ask, it feels disrespectful of my space.
What about recording a fellow passenger’s bad behavior—vigilante justice or privacy violation?
Olympia: This is a whole other thing—if you’re disrupting everybody, you’ve lost your power to be like, I need my privacy. But would I post it? No. It would be like in the family group chat.
Drescher: I asked Peter [Marc Jacobson, Drescher’s ex-husband] to complain about somebody who was bothering me. They were talking on their phone and it was really unnerving because I thought that maybe it wasn’t safe to be on a cell phone like that, but also they were talking at the top of their voice on the phone like they were in their living room.
Is joining the Mile High Club a worthy goal?
Olympia: Honestly, I don’t really have an answer for that. Like, do you wanna have sex in a gross bathroom? So be it. I always say, do it for the story, and if it’s a great one, amazing.
Drescher: I think everybody should try it once, but I think the bathrooms have gotten much smaller. If the idea of it titillates, you are likely a young person who has fun doing naughty things in unexpected places. I’m not mad at that. It’s not the place where I m at in my life, but been there, done that.
Are there any other in-flight no-nos?
Olympia: When people put their feet on the headrest or armrest in front of them—that’s just the biggest no in the whole world. I feel like you can yell at them no matter what. Like, that’s insane.
