This Rural Montana Wedding Saw Guests Take Part in Farming Activities, a Chinese Tea Ceremony, and a Vow of Silence
When Sophia Li went on her first-ever app date (and her first in over a year) in the summer of 2019, she had zero expectations. “I only went on the date because it was a homework assignment from an energy healer and therapist I was working with at that time,” the multimedia journalist, climate advocate, and former Vogue editor explains. To her surprise, she and her now husband—Lawrence DeSimone, an FDNY first responder who works in city planning—hit it off right away, discussing everything from attachment styles to waste-management systems in Japan, all over a cup of kava tea.
From there, the relationship “got serious pretty quickly,” with Sophia moving into Lawrence’s Brooklyn apartment in May 2020, a few months into the pandemic. “We always say that if we had met earlier in our lives, it probably wouldn’t have worked out,” Sophia says. “Our relationship was all about timing and doing the self work.”
Three years later, Lawrence decided to pop the question—but first there was the small matter of asking Sophia’s father for her hand in marriage. “The first time he asked my dad for his blessing to propose, my dad didn’t give him an answer as they had just met for the first time,” the bride says, explaining that her dad was unable to travel from China to the US for the first three years of their relationship due to COVID-19 restrictions. “Lawrence asked my dad again when he went to China to visit my extended family.”
In the end, there were two proposals too. Lawrence had planned to propose on a family trip to Bali, Indonesia, during a volcano hike at sunrise. But feeling anxious, he proposed in a rice paddy a day earlier before going ahead with the original plan. “We count the second time as the real proposal, as that’s when we were both the most present,” Sophia says.
While Lawrence proposed with his mother’s engagement ring as a placeholder, the couple turned to New York brand Devereux Collection to design a custom ring, comprising a jade stone sourced from Tibet by Sophia’s father at the center, 12 diamonds around it, and gold melted down from Lawrence’s mother’s jewelry collection. “There’s a diamond to represent each person in both of our immediate families,” Sophia explains. “It’s a symbolic way to have our families together and represent this new family we’re starting.”
The couple discussed a range of wedding options, including an elopement, local wedding, destination wedding, and multiple weddings so Sophia’s family in China could join the celebration. Eventually, they decided upon Bodhi Farms near Bozeman, Montana—despite not visiting the site in person until days before the celebrations. “After finding the location, we didn’t feel the need to take an extra flight just to scout it out,” the bride says. “We trusted our decision and were excited to experience it for the first time with our guests. We are very much big trees, big mountains kind of people, and the main priority was that the property was a climate solution everyone could learn about immersively while staying there.”
After setting their wedding date, the couple decided to officially tie the knot in their home of New York City on April 8. There was only one snag: “We ended up getting our marriage license at New York City Hall and had our actual civil ceremony in Brooklyn, due to the state law of having to wait 24 hours between obtaining a marriage license and having the ceremony,” explains Sophia, who wore a One/Of dress made of deadstock materials and a handmade Jennifer Behr voilette. “I guess we do everything in twos,” she jokes.
With the official paperwork out of the way, the bride and groom headed to Montana at the start of August for their wedding festivities. Together with wedding planner Jasmine Lilly of Dandelion Vow,, they enlisted Wild Productions to set up leave-no-trace glamping tents, where family and friends stayed during the three-day celebration.