Pringle Of Scotland Fall 2010

Some call them sweaters, some call them jumpers.

I call them jumpers.

We ve been making jumpers here in Scotland

for nearly 200 years, which is quite a long time.

And we also make cardigans.

The thing you have to remember about Scotland

is that it rains a lot.

It rains all the time.

It totally does your head in if you re not used to it.

Our jumpers are made from wool.

Some of the wool is from lambs and some is from goats.

We like to take the wool from the belly of the goat

because the rest of it gets really manky.

Manky wool is no good to us

because we ve got really high standards.

Then we take the wool to our factory

and we pick the beasties off it.

And then we give it a good wash to get all the filth out.

Then we make it into yarn.

Then the yarn gets put onto bobbins

and the bobbins get put onto bobbin trees.

And all the bobbins start spinning.

And this is the beginning of the jumper making process.

In the olden days, before we had the machine,

we had old ladies sitting there knitting

all of the jumpers and cardigans by hand, but nowadays,

we make about 700 billion jumpers and cardigans a day

and if an old lady tried to knit that many,

her hands would catch fire and she d die.

Anyway, before you start the machine going,

you have to have a design.

Design is really very important.

Everything needs to have a design.

Things that aren t designed look all ramshackle.

When we have a new lot of jumpers and cardigans,

we put on a fashion show to show them off.

The models are horribly skinny, like skeletons.

I don t know why they have to be so thin.

Personally, I d like to see a normal shaped lassie

modeling them with a big bottom and a nice pair of hooters

or a good, solid young man like my son Gerald,

but we won t let him model them

because he s only got one eye and he s an alcoholic.

But we always get good write-ups in the magazines

because they all know how good we are

and how rubbish everyone else is.

And how probably everyone else should be banned

from making jumpers and they can just make socks,

because they re crap.