Sound the alarm: Taylor Swift just released a new music video for “Opalite”, the glittering love song from The Life of a Showgirl, and, well, it’s a world away from the polished showmanship of “The Fate of Ophelia.” Watch it now—and see all the questions I had upon my jaw-on-the-floor first viewing below.
- What is this ad? Am I watching the correct thing?
- Why is this just on Spotify and Apple Music and not on YouTube? (Oh, it’s to rack up the streams isn’t it?)
- Is the Opalite spray in The Life of a Showgirl’s album colors, orange and oxidised green? Classic.
- This living room is somehow so Taylor coded?
- Taylor in a scrunchie? Never thought I’d see the day.
- And she’s brunette?!
- Is this supposed to be shot like a Wes Anderson movie?
- There’s something very cozy and ’00s about all of this?
- Friendship bracelets?!!!
- Is that a George Michael poster on her bedroom wall?
- And is that a nod to “Father Figure” from The Life of a Showgirl? Of course it is.
- I wonder what Taylor sings when she does karaoke? Does she even do karaoke?
- Greta Lee on MTV?
- Is that the Eras Tour dancer Raphael Thomas as the bartender?
- And Eras Tour dancer Natalie Reid as the girl who takes the seat next to Taylor?
- Has Taylor ordered Cosmos? (Again: of course.)
- Is Taylor a Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, or Samantha?
- Jodie Turner-Smith as a fitness instructor?
- Domhnall Gleeson as Taylor’s other half?!
- Isn’t that Eras Tour dancer Kevin Scheitzbach as the ticket office person?
- Is this the most British Christmas set-up ever?
- And now they’re together!!!??
- Lewis Capaldi is the photographer?
- Is this Starcourt Mall from Stranger Things?
- Is this the weirdest music video Taylor’s ever made?
- Nothing says love like matching pretzels, I guess?
- And Graham Norton, too!? Oh, this is everyone Taylor was on the Graham Norton sofa with, right?
- And are those Eras Tour dancers Sam McWilliams and Whyley Yoshimura talking to Graham?
- And Cillian Murphy in an ad?
- This sparkly dance number is unexpected?
- Is this literally a town hall dance competition?
- Who else could judge this but Eras Tour dancer Kameron Saunders?
- What is this bizarre end credit about where the rock and cactus are now?
- Is this the best free publicity for Domhnall Gleeson’s The Paper?
- What projects were Jodie and Greta promoting again?
- Oh, wow, Cillian did the Opalite ad voiceover, too? I guess that’s what you do after you win an Oscar.
- How soon after this episode did Taylor approach them all to do this? Truly a mastermind.
- Is this proof that Taylor still is and will always be an Anglophile?
