My first viewing of The Favourite was an occasion that will be forever burned into my memory, largely because it was such a perfect moviegoing experience. I was alone at the Alamo Drafthouse in downtown Brooklyn; at the movies during the workday, Don Draper-style (don’t tell my former employer… oh wait, they’re bankrupt); drinking a glass of cold pink wine and eating fries and watching a supremely gay Yorgos Lanthimos film. Could a rewatch possibly match that afternoon of sheer joy?
Below, with no further ado, is absolutely every thought I had while watching The Favourite again, in honor of the great Olivia Colman’s birthday:
- Ugh, so baroque and beautiful from the opening shot.
- This cape is reminding me that I once interviewed to be a certain super-successful Hollywood creator’s PA and was told in all seriousness that a lot of the job was keeping track of his various capes.
- “I love you, but that I will not do.” Famous last words, Rachel Weisz.
- There’s our literal and figurative queen, Olivia Colman!
- God, maybe I should rewatch Disobedience soon.
- For the, um, cinematic composition!
- If a crow isn’t cawing forebodingly, is it even a Lanthimos film?
- I kind of love Emma Stone in a jaunty little straw hat.
- Why is everybody in British period pieces always cousins with each other?
- Should I get a big, fancy English-barrister wig?
- For Halloween, at least?
- A The Favourite costume is still relevant three or four Stone-Lanthimos collaborations later, right?
- We need to go back to communal bathing in buckets, for the sheer gay factor of it all.
- I mean, definitely not for the hygiene benefits.
- This badger-makeup scene is once again making me LOL.
- Mean Rachel Weisz is so life-alteringly hot to me.
- Tell me my makeup makes me look too insane to meet the Russian ambassador, queen!
- Do not look at Queen Anne! Do not look at her in the eyes!
- Why have I never made the connection between Queen Anne and 30 Rock’s Tracy Jordan before? They must have the same rising sign.
- Anne moaning from gout pains is very me-after-dinner-on-a-regular-basis.
- Maybe I should look into that.
- “Cousin, the beef.”
- Ooh, horses! In a forest!
- Lesbians sure do know their way around a medicinal salve/poultice, don’t they, girlies?
- Imagine being immune to Rachel Weisz’s charms!
- Couldn’t be me.
- Nicholas Hoult is simply soooooo pretty in this movie.
- I guess statement blush and a curly wig will do that to a boy.
- I love the way Sarah (that is Rachel Weisz’s character’s actual name, by the way) says “mascara.”
- Ooh, good cakespo in this scene.
- “Sometimes a lady likes to have some fun.” Okay, Cyndi Lauper.
- Oh, yeah, I forgot that Sarah technically has a “husband.”
- Likely thing for a 1705-era dyke to have!
- Okay, now we’re cooking, Anne’s-makeup-wise!
- Should I draw a statement mole on my face?
- First official lesbian snog, just 30 or so minutes into the film!
- With Abigail peeping, no less!
- Yorgos Lanthimos, the ally that you are.
- Defying your lover’s orders as to how to properly eat in order to avoid a flareup of your illness (IBS, in my case)… Anne, we’re so the same girl.
- Except nobody ever pushes me around my mansion while I bravely hold a little candle.
- “Work both sides of the street” is my new favorite bisexual euphemism.
- Nobody does a giant-baby cry like Olivia Colman.
- Should I get 17 rabbits?
- I honestly forgot there’s heterosexual sex in this movie.
- Oh, it’s so on between Abigail and Anne.
- Lobster race!!!!!!!!
- I do not understand what anyone is talking about re: land tax, but that’s okay.
- “Men should not sneak up on women.” Tea. Am I the only one who remembers that Six Feet Under cold open where the men sneak up on their female friend and she thinks they’re strangers and runs into traffic and dies?
- Pretty Little Liars mention! Sort of.
- Hell hath no fury like a lesbian lover demoted.
- These tongue double-entendres are sooooooo crazy!
- That’s right, Anne, show Sarah who’s the (weird, sad) boss.
- Is it weird that I feel like taking a mud bath would be fun in 2026?
- “Do not yell at me! I am the queen!” I’m always saying this.
- Oop, Sarah’s very much unconscious and being dragged by her horse.
- Screaming in a little silk bonnet is such a mood.
- That’s how you pronounce “Blenheim”?
- I’m a dunce.
- How does Rachel Weisz look even better with a giant facial scar?
- Jonathan Swift name-check!
- Nobody writes a brooding love letter like a queer woman, whether it’s 1705 or 2026 (via DM).
- God, I want this striped harlequin outfit Abigail is wearing.
- I also want Anne’s going-through-it robe, for that matter.
- And those lace-edged pillowcases.
- Okay, now I’m scared of Anne and done coveting things.
- What a film!
