Addressed is a weekly column about the act of getting dressed. Anything and everything is fair game for discussion, from animal prints and runway styling hacks to how to build the perfect winter shoe wardrobe.
The best part about the holidays is going back home to spend time with family. It means planning full ’fits to hang out in someone’s living room or backyard, seeing extended family members, and trying to answer the question, how much attention do I want to call to myself this evening?
Memes about being a fashion person back at home for the holidays abound. A crudely drawn illustration of a man standing in the corner, as people dance around him, thinking, “They don’t know I’m wearing Margiela” is a personal favorite of mine. But the inverse can be even more anxiety inducing: Do you really want your uncle to point to your Tabis and say, “Wow! Those are some wild shoes! Hey Nancy, did you see their shoes? They’re like horse feet!”
When you’re known for pulling looks every time you go out, do you tamp down your impulses or live your truth when it comes time to hang out with your family? An informal poll of my most fashionable friends revealed that many of them opt for dressing in a lower key when they’re with family. One friend said they’ll “do a half-look, like a nice shirt,” while another explained a strategy of “toning things down…not normalcore but…you know.”
Everyone agrees that it’s not about changing the way you dress, but about calibrating the peacock factor. You could wear a full Rick Owens drapey look, or even a jacket with a strong shoulder, but perhaps the massive platform boots are best kept in your closet—which is probably great news for your suitcase! Or, yes, you could wear a sheer Valentino skirt, but adding a slip underneath, or an extra long sweater on top helps avoid the “that’s an interesting skirt” comment from your sister-in-law’s weird neighbor.
Negotiate with yourself. Maybe you’ll wear your favorite Simone Rocha faux-fur Mary Janes with a simple sweater and a pencil skirt; or perhaps you’ll pair your vintage sculptural Balmain jacket with easy jeans and classic boots. Give a little, hold a little.
Of course, all that changes if you come from a family that lives for a dramatic entrance or a fabulous holiday outfit—in that case it is your duty to pull out all the stops, and when at all possible, show up bearing the fruits of your fashion job as gifts for your loved ones. Share the wealth! And if you see your teen cousin walk in with a vintage Balenciaga City bag, give ’em a nod and let them know that you know they know.
