These Are the Best, Totally Non-Sports-Related March Madness Brackets

March 30, 2018

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Are you trying to care about something called March Madness (which does not describe what happens when the full moon rises on the first day of spring, or the Easter version of Black Friday, despite what you might think)? Do you want to be the kind of person who participates in NCAA Final Four activities, but the idea of spending your precious free time watching a basketball game makes you want to scream into the chilly (but not cold) March night?

Good news! There’s one great way, as an otherwise uninterested layperson, to get into March Madness, what my colleague Michelle Ruiz helpfully explains is “college basketball’s annual, crazy, all-consuming single-elimination tournament that alternately breaks hearts and makes hoop dreams come true on a near-nightly basis.” And it’s called a bracket, with which fans pit teams against each until there is one final winner. Here’s Sister Jean, the 98-year-old team chaplain for the Loyola University Chicago men’s basketball team (who, as noted recently on this website has impeccable courtside celebrity style) talking about her own March Madness bracket—apparently she made a second, pie-in-the-sky prediction that had her underdog team winning, which is what has been coming to pass as of late.

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With Sister Jean’s athleisure fan realness as inspiration, you too can get in the spirit without having to sacrifice too much of your mental energy to college sports. We’ve got pop stars, hot guys, Bravolebrities, even political figures assembled by the superlative bracket-makers of the Internet. Behold, the best totally not-sports-related alternative March Madness brackets:

Beyoncé Bracket