Weeks into 2026, at a time of reflection and trudge, I did not think reading Blake Lively and Taylor Swift’s texts from an unsealed court deposition would spark anything but more feelings of tedium. Lively’s protracted battle with her It Ends With Us director and costar Justin Baldoni has felt so grim and exposing and dark—not something the public needs to be privy to, memeing, or raging about on X. But somehow, a back and forth about the rift that grew between the celebrity friends has given me pause.
I like a little conflict. I have been vocal about my tepid feelings about Heated Rivalry. I would beg Claudia Winkleman to make me a traitor. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of now-deleted tweets circa 2016 in which I argued with accounts that had eggs as avatars about Irish politics and whether hyperpop was a serious genre. Is a man bothering you at a bar? Whether we’ve met or not, I’ll be your greatest defender.
But when it comes to a cresting wave of changing friendship dynamics, I am a boat without a paddle. Conflict, or even just an off vibe with friends, is not something I’ve ever handled well, even now in my 30s. I fear blowing up a friendship forever if I’m honest about certain feelings, despite having faith in my friends being caring and capable of levity and nuance and some gallows humor. I know that catastrophizing is my default setting. I also know that conflict—if parsed correctly—is healthy; I’ve read and raved enough about Sarah Schulman’s Conflict Is Not Abuse. But sending a text about a cold shoulder, or receiving one that starts, “Hi. Recently I’ve felt like you—” will send my phone into orbit.
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This week, documents released amid the ongoing legal battle between Lively and Baldoni included a series of texts between Lively and Swift. Back in June 2025, Baldoni’s team withdrew their bid to subpoena Swift, and instead successfully petitioned for access to said text exchanges.
Blake Lively and Taylor Swift were last spotted together in October 2024, when they went out to dinner with their partners Ryan Reynolds and Travis Kelce. Their absence from each other’s (public) lives since has been notable: no more G.N.O.s to Chez Margaux or joint appearances at Kelce’s Chiefs games, and no vocal acknowledgement of the trial from Swift—not that you’d expect that from the global superstar, who so militantly controls her image. For months there had been rumors that the women had fallen out, “drifted.” Texts from December 2024 speak directly to the impact the It Ends With Us imbroglio had on their friendship.
“Is everything ok?” Lively allegedly asked Swift near the end of Swift’s Eras Tour, before Lively had filed her lawsuit. “I felt like a bad friend lately because I was such a sad sack who only talked about my own shit for months. You were generous to not only be the key person there for me during all of it, but also to let me off the hook for being so in it. But I still have a feeling something may not be right.”
Lively continued: “I always want the opportunity to be a better friend if there’s something I unintentionally did. I know how busy and taxed you are—physically, emotionally, practically, so I don’t expect any more from you ever.”
The court documents show that Swift responded one hour later: “You’re not wrong, but it’s also not a big deal. I think I’m just exhausted in every avenue of my life and in recent months had been feeling a little bit of a shift in the way you talk to me. Yes there has been a lot of Justin stuff but I’ve been through things like this before and I know how all consuming it is. It’s more like... and I feel really bad saying anything about this because your texts have been so nice in their intent but your last few... it’s felt like I was reading a mass corporate email sent to 200 employees.
“And it feels awful to be in any way critical of any way you process what you’ve been going through but I just kinda miss my funny, dark, normal-speaking friend who talks to me as herself,” Swift went on. “And I know you feel attacked from all sides for ridiculous reasons so you’re feeling like you have to overly explain things... but. It’s me! That’s just caused a little distance. And you don’t need to apologize. Just come back please.”
“I’ve been texting like I’m writing,” Lively admits, quickly and directly addressing the part she’s played in the strain. “Not like me talking. I didn’t realize that until you pointed it out, but I see it. On top of that, I’m over packaging simple things bc I’ve felt so deeply misunderstood that I don’t trust my judgement of myself anymore... This fucking guy and what he did to me gave me an identity crisis. Legitimately. The thing that spooked me most in all this though, wasn’t the bad guys being bad guys. It was the good guys, my lifelong friends—allies to women—who quietly dipped. And so I’m probably being over the top with my friends who stayed because I’ve never felt more alone.”
It’s clear that both Lively and Swift are being careful not to hurt or upset each other, while also acknowledging the rift is a real, tangible thing. They don’t shy away from the awkwardness, but they don’t react defensively, either, and each one nods to the broader context shaping the situation. Swift is open about the fact that she’s pulled back and gently explains her reasons, and Lively, in turn, acknowledges the change in her own behavior. There’s room for Swift to express how much she misses their friendship, just as there’s space for Lively to reflect on the friendships she’s already had to let go. Set against the gnarly court case that would soon play out, it’s an exchange that feels all the more potent.
Naming feelings is something that I’ve long struggled with; in the past it’s dovetailed into either letting emotions morph to outsize and absurd proportions or just ghosting, making the outcome much worse than if I’d faced the problem head-on. We don’t know where Lively and Swift stand today, but without getting too earnest, there’s a level of clearly articulated, open-hearted communication here that I’ll continue to strive for. As I write this, there’s a text I need to reply to; I think the draft is getting one more edit.
