If you find yourself newly engaged and wondering how to plan a destination wedding, you’ve come to the right place. That was my situation in 2024—my then-boyfriend and I had just become fiancés, and we knew we wanted to have an intimate wedding abroad. As we started to do our research and plan out our timeline, we quickly realized that we weren’t going to have time to see any potential venues in person. Would it be crazy to plan our destination wedding from afar, without ever visiting our venue? Maybe! But did we have a choice? Unfortunately, no!
Below, learn how we planned our destination wedding remotely from New York City, and everything we learned along the way.
Decide on the location for your destination wedding
The first step in planning your destination wedding is to choose the location for your big day. It can be somewhere special to you as a couple, or meaningful for your family or heritage. It can also be completely arbitrary—I studied abroad in Bologna, Italy, and during spring break my now husband and I traveled to Tuscany for a long weekend. Sitting together, overlooking the rolling hills and sipping wine, we looked at each other and said, “I’d get married here.” And so we did (12 years later).
There are, of course, many factors to consider when choosing the location of your destination wedding. You will need to think about the time of year: what will the weather be like? Are there any local events happening during that time that could impact lodging, availability, or price? Is the region easily accessible year-round?
Once you narrow in on a location and time frame, start making a list of potential venues in the area to reach out to.
Narrow down the list to the venues that feel like “you”
Though we knew where we wanted to get married for a long time, choosing the venue itself was a more difficult task. I started with a simple Google search for the best wedding venues in Tuscany, and clicked through many results before stumbling upon an article by Architectural Digest that cited one venue as “a subdued choice for low-key brides”—which felt like it captured exactly what we were going for. I immediately bookmarked it to show my fiancé, and after reading reviews of the venue and a thorough social media stalk of their accounts, decided to reach out for more information. Something about The Lazy Olive Villa just felt right.
A few things we considered when searching for our perfect venue, to keep in mind as you search for yours:
- Cost: One of the first things you should do when you start planning your wedding is create a wedding budget. Whether your family is helping to cover certain costs or you will be paying for the whole thing yourselves, it’s important to plan within the parameters of your budget (knowing that things will always pop up unexpectedly throughout the planning process).
- Guest list: How many people are you planning to invite? While you may not have your exact guest list finalized at this point, you should have a sense of your wedding size.
- Vibe: What type of ceremony are you going to have? This could mean black tie and formal, or more casual and laid back.
- Setting: Are you envisioning an indoor ceremony, or hoping to host every event outside? Many couples opt for a combination of both, with the option to move everything indoors or under a tent depending on the weather.
- Accessibility: How will your guests get to your venue? If they need to book offsite accommodations, you will need to consider transportation options for getting to and from events throughout the weekend.
Schedule virtual tours with your top venue picks
Ideally, you would plan to visit a few of your top-choice venues in person, meet the vendors, and then decide which one to book for the big day. Unfortunately, we didn’t have the time or the budget to take a trip to Italy between our engagement and the wedding itself, so we had to get creative. We scheduled multiple FaceTime calls with our venue to virtually walk through the property to get a sense of the layout and understand how the weekend events might flow. We also looked through photos from past weddings to see how other couples used the space, and pieced together our plans using aerial shots of the venue and Photoshop. While this might not work for every couple, we felt that we had enough information about the property and good communication with the venue to be comfortable planning the whole thing from afar.
Hire a local wedding planner
Once you’ve decided on your venue, the very next thing you should do is hire a wedding planner, especially if you won’t be visiting the venue in person. Your planner should be local to the area you are getting married in, or be familiar with that region so they can help you book vendors, plan accommodation for guests, and do any on-site visits that might be required.
We were fortunate that the owner of our venue also did all the planning, making it easy to arrange every detail of our weekend. If that’s not the case for your venue, ask about planners or coordinators who have worked with the venue before and choose from the recommended list. It’s a worthy investment to work with someone who is well connected in the area, as it will alleviate the stress of trying to plan certain local details yourself.
Make a long weekend out of it (or more)
Since everyone is already traveling across the world to celebrate you, consider extending the weekend beyond the typical one-day affair so you can spend more time with your friends and family and enjoy the setting a bit longer.
We booked our villa for four nights to maximize our time there: guests started to trickle in on Thursday, and we hosted a welcome party at the venue on Friday once everyone had arrived. The wedding took place on Saturday, and the day after we hosted a poolside brunch before guests continued on with their travels. We also planned a wine tour with our immediate families which was a nice way to carve out time with just our parents and siblings and see even more of the Tuscan landscape.
If your schedule allows it, you should extend the trip even further on either end of the wedding weekend. We met up with friends in Rome a few days before driving up to Tuscany, and took the train down to Naples for a ‘friendsmoon’ after we checked out of the villa. We ended our trip with a minimoon in Ischia, just the two of us, which was the perfect way to cap off our Italian wedding celebrations.
Create a wedding website to help guests plan their travel
A destination wedding is a big trip for guests, so providing details early is important. You don’t need to be involved in every guest’s travel plans, but outlining information around flights, hotels, and travel requirements early will help ensure they have a smooth journey.
We worked with our planner to identify nearby accommodations for guests that wouldn’t fit on property, and arranged drivers to bring offsite guests back to their hotels at the end of the night. We also reminded guests to update their passports, outlined flight options, and provided recommended transportation methods during their stay. For those extending their trip, we included a list of things to do in the area, plus an outline of the weekend’s events and a link to our wedding registry.
Put together a vision board
If, like me, you’ve been saving photos to a Pinterest board since high school, you probably have a range of different colors, styles, and locations pinned to your wedding section. Now is the time to narrow it down to what your actual vision is for the big day.
Find images that capture the feeling you are trying to achieve, not just the visual aesthetic you want to create. Identify color schemes that fit your season and venue, and take notice of small details that recur in your favorite photos. Bring this vision board (or, share the link to your Pinterest page) to your planner to further refine your plans and zoom in on some of the finer details together.
Find a local photographer, or one that is willing to travel
This might be the biggest decision you have to make (besides choosing the person you will spend the rest of your life with, obviously). The photos from your wedding weekend will last forever, so you want to make sure you hire a photographer that fits your style and understands your vision.
Our wedding planner shared a list of recommended photographers that they had worked with in the past, and we were also able to find photos from local photographers on social media. We took note of the styles that reflected what we wanted for our big day, and reached out to a few to check pricing and availability.
Ultimately, we chose The Santoros—their portfolio matched exactly the relaxed, elegant, and romantic style we were hoping for, and after our first call with them we knew they were the right choice. Julie and Uwe made us feel comfortable throughout the entire weekend, which made our images look natural and even more stunning, and never took us away from the party for too long (but always made sure to snap us when the lighting was just right).
Choose a color scheme for your flowers and tablescapes
Referring to your vision board, work with your planner to determine the color scheme for your wedding weekend. Some brides choose one color as the focal point, to be used for bridesmaid dresses, floral arrangements, and other decorative accents. We opted for something less structured—we didn’t have wedding parties, and wanted the florals to complement Tuscany’s colorful late-summer blooms. My bridal bouquet, floral arch, and dinner tablescape were designed by our wedding planner and popped perfectly against the rolling green hills in the backdrop.
Establish the dress code early
Even for the most relaxed brides, providing a dress code is always helpful for guests to get a sense of the vibe and pack accordingly. The more descriptive you can be, the better: Are guests expected to wear ties? Should they avoid packing a short dress or jumpsuit? Listing specific options on your website also cuts down on the number of questions you’ll get from guests who are unsure of what to pack in the weeks leading up to the event. Since we didn’t have a particular color scheme, we also included a photo of the bridal bouquet from my vision board so guests could get a sense of the weekend’s general aesthetic.
Book your hair stylist and makeup artist
If choosing your photographer is the most important decision you’ll make, your wedding hair stylist and makeup artist are a close second. My wedding planner provided a list of local businesses that I could book for my wedding weekend, but I was hesitant to work with someone new for the first time on my wedding day.
Luckily, my hair stylist in NYC also does makeup and has previously glammed bridal clients abroad. Mikel worked with me in the months leading up to the wedding to do hair and makeup trials, and then traveled to Italy for my wedding weekend to do my glam for both the welcome party and wedding day. I was so grateful to have someone there that I’d worked with before and trusted—especially when an unexpected heat wave prompted us to change my hairstyle at the last minute.
Reserve any other vendors you’ll need for the weekend
If you do decide to make a weekend out of it, work with your planner to book any additional vendors you’ll need, either for the wedding itself or for any of the other events. We hired a gelato cart and a saxophone DJ for our welcome party (both of which we ended up extending late into the night), and a string quartet and DJ for our wedding day.
Do as much as you can before arriving
By the time you reach your wedding destination, most of your details should be set. There are some things you can’t do until you arrive, such as purchasing items for the welcome bags, but otherwise you should get as much done as you can ahead of time. This means ordering any decor, stationery, and favors, plus choosing all outfits and getting everything tailored before you leave.
Our menus, place cards, and signs matched our invitations from Ofelia Botella and were ordered and packed in our checked bags rather than shipping directly to the venue. We also ordered a personalized guest book and custom wine openers from Etsy to put in the welcome bags. One of our very overweight checked bags was exclusively packed with wedding favors and decor (and an AirTag, of course).
Pack your dress, suit and accessories carefully
One of the questions I got asked the most ahead of the wedding was, “How will you get your dress over there?” My wedding dress was full-bodied with a long train—not exactly the slim profile conducive to air travel. After going down rabbit holes on the internet to see how other destination brides pulled it off, I decided I would wing it and ask the flight attendants to use the pilot’s closet to store my dress before boarding. It worked! Just make sure you have a good steamer wherever you’re going.
Try to pack the most important or valuable items in your carry-on luggage if you can, or arrive at your destination early enough to allow time to recover your bags should anything get misplaced in transit. We made sure all the bridal items were in our carry-on bags, including the groom’s suit, our welcome party outfits, wedding shoes, and weekend accessories.
Get there a day or two before your guests
My husband and I checked into The Lazy Olive a day early, which allowed us to see the venue for the first time together and do a full walk through of the property with our planner before guests arrived. We also had time to stop by the local grocery store to stock the villa for the weekend and grab a few last-minute items for the welcome bags.
That evening, we planned an off-property golden hour photo shoot that turned out to be one of our favorite parts of the weekend. We were full of excitement for everything to kick off the next day and awestruck by the beauty of the location we had chosen, and grateful to have one last quiet moment just the two of us before welcoming our friends and family the next day.
Add some special touches from the area
We wanted to immerse ourselves in the Italian culture as much as possible, which meant homemade Limoncello spritzes, a charcuterie station at the cocktail hour, and olive oil favors made with olives from the property itself. Wherever your wedding destination, I recommend incorporating some local traditions, flavors and ingredients along with a few from home to celebrate all the places that will be a special part of your love story.
Build in time for just the two of you
Whether or not you are getting married abroad, it is important to make time for just the two of you throughout the wedding day and weekend. On the morning of our wedding, we woke up at sunrise to write our vows together while overlooking the Tuscan hills before the chaos of the day began. Later, we did our first look on a quiet, cypress tree-lined road ahead of our ceremony, which gave us a few peaceful moments together to prepare for the rest of the day.
Get legally married at home
In the spirit of simplifying as much as possible, we decided to keep our Italian ceremony purely symbolic (though our planner would have helped us coordinate an official ceremony had we wanted one). My youngest brother unofficially officiated our Tuscan wedding, and we plan to get legally married back home in New York City, just the two of us.
Go with the flow and enjoy every moment
The piece of advice we received the most ahead of our wedding? The day will fly by, so try to slow down and enjoy every moment. Not everything will go exactly as planned, but let your wedding planner handle anything that comes up unexpectedly so you and your partner can stay present. Most of the time your guests won’t even realize that something didn’t unfold the way it was supposed to, so it’s not worth getting upset over small details. Remind yourself (and each other) that the most important thing is that you are surrounded by people you love, in a beautiful place, marrying the love of your life—and that’s all that really matters.
