There’s a lot to take into account when picking your dress as a wedding guest: Is the wedding inside or outside? What season is it? Is there a dress code? But perhaps the most important consideration is the color of the dress. Some couples take an extremely hands-on approach to their guests’ attire, offering mood boards, palettes, and other guidelines, while others prefer to let their nearest and dearest follow their hearts.
But there is (almost) always one unbreakable rule for wedding-guest dresses. Say it with me now: Never. Wear. White! (Or cream, or ecru, or eggshell.) If could be misinterpreted as bridal, it’s off-limits.
Yet that edict leaves ultra-pale pastels like baby blue, cotton candy pink, and butter yellow in a sartorial No Man’s Land. Does it matter that they’re not white if they photograph with barely a whisper of color? On TikTok, innocuous creators have accidentally stirred up spirited debates over wedding-guest dresses—and celebrities aren’t immune to the discourse, either. Over the weekend, Sydney Sweeney attended Glen Powell’s sister’s wedding in Texas, where, during one event, she posed for a picture with the bride, Leslie. The shot, which circulated online, shows the actor in a pale blue dress with a sheer corset.
Sweeney soon caught flak for the look, with some social media users deeming it too close to white for the occasion. Others, however, rushed to the actor’s defense, pointing out that perhaps Leslie didn’t care—as evidenced by her ear-to-ear grin.
The same subject stirred up a lively debate in the Vogue Slack channel. Below, writers Emma Specter and Hannah Jackson discuss their opposing points of view on pale wedding-guest dress etiquette.
Hannah Jackson: Emma, I was kind of surprised to hear that we had different takes on this. Can you tell me a bit about your stance on wearing light blue (or any pale color) to a wedding?
Emma Specter: Hannah, I don’t know if you’ve arrived at the wedding-season portion of your life yet (you are quite famously slightly younger than me), but as someone who has spent more money than I care to celebrate on other people’s nuptials recently…I am coming out on the side of “let me wear what I want as long as it’s not literally a white gown.” It’s hard enough to find a non-ugly wedding-guest dress; why put more restrictions on it? I am very open to being wrong about this, though, so tell me: What’s your argument against pale dresses at a wedding?
HJ: That is a great point. I only have one wedding on the docket this year, so I think I’m pretty safely not in that part of my 20s and 30s yet. But I will say, realizing how much money it costs to just go to a wedding was a sobering experience, so I don’t blame anyone who wants to wear what they already own—even if it’s a pale blue, pink, or yellow dress. I also tend to think that wedding-guest dress “rules” are pretty archaic. (Seriously, who cares if you wear black?) That said, I’ve always followed the rule of thumb that if you even have to ask yourself if something’s okay to wear to a wedding, the answer is no. Sure, weddings can be burdensome on guests, but this is the most important (and, likely, expensive) day of someone’s life, so I wouldn’t want to cause any extra stress by wearing something that might offend them.
ES: Okay, this is a very wise and real piece of advice that I feel like both of our mothers would sign off on (and I am very scared of my mom when it comes to etiquette, although it should be said that your mom always likes my Instagram Stories). It does seem stressful to come into a wedding focused more on the questionable appropriateness of your own outfit than the joy of the happy couple—or even who you might kiss at the afterparty—but I now have a seasonal question: Are we supposed to wear dark or dark-ish dress shades even to weddings that take place in the height of summer? What say you?
HJ: Wow, should I follow your mom on Instagram? And that’s a good question. Again, I’m no wedding-guest expert, but I think that it’s totally fair game to wear dark colors, though it’s always great to find a way to make your outfit celebratory. Maybe that means statement accessories, or wearing a dark dress with a colorful pattern. It is worth mentioning, though, that some brides don’t care about pale wedding-guest dresses. In fact, some request it! But when in doubt, if you’re feeling unsure, just ask the bride. And if you don’t know the bride well enough, then just do everyone a favor and play it safe. Do you have any hard and fast wedding-guest dressing rules, Emma?
ES: My wedding-guest-dressing rule boils down to two words: comfortable shoes. I have ended up going barefoot at too many weddings (and not in a cute, free-spirit way; in an “I am drunk with glass in my foot” way) to spend any more money on heels I can’t walk in. From here on out, I’m wearing fancy Crocs—the high-heeled kind, I’m not a monster—unless told not to. Also, bring some safety pins and Advil in your clutch! You never know when a bridesmaid’s dress will bust a strap or a hungover groomsman will need headache relief, and it’s fun to be the hero.
