The Adam Brody and Kristen Bell–led comedy series Nobody Wants This has returned for its second season, and while the cast’s mishpochah of perfectly cast regulars and guest stars (including Girls’ Alex Karpovsky as a rival rabbi to Brody’s Noah; a newly bangs-sporting Jackie Tohn as Noah’s sister-in-law; the great Justine Lupe as the sister, confidante, and co-podcast host of Bell’s Joanne; and, of course, Brody’s real-life wife Leighton Meester as a delightfully annoying Instagram momfluencer) is better than ever, the question of whether Joanne will convert to Judaism or not remains the show’s main tension.
Obviously, one wouldn’t want to be too judgmental of Nobody Wants This without a higher power weighing in—so for thoughts on how the series reflects modern-day Judaism, the complexity of representing Jewish women onscreen, and some of the most common real-life worries people have about conversion, Vogue spoke to Rabbi Angela Buchdahl, who holds the distinction of being the first East Asian-American to be ordained as a rabbi. (Her new book Heart of a Stranger: An Unlikely Rabbi’s Story of Faith, Identity, and Belonging is also out now from Penguin Random House.) Read that conversation below.
Vogue: Has Nobody Wants This sparked new interest in conversion from people you’ve spoken to?
Angela Buchdahl: What it has done is sparked a kind of interesting pride in cool rabbis. [Laughs.] I don’t think it’s necessarily sparked more interest, but I think it’s reflecting what I’ve seen in the last couple of years, which is that there actually is increased interest in conversion. It’s not just something that I’ve seen at my own synagogue, which has a very large program for people interested in exploring Judaism that now sees more than 300 students a year, but across the country, we’re seeing people who are more interested in conversion than in past years.
What are some of the most common issues that couples bring to you when one of them is thinking about converting?
There are so many, but I think one is that people do wonder, if they convert, will they be fully accepted as Jews? I think that can be exacerbated especially if someone is a person of color, for example. I think another question people have is, “Will I ever know enough to be fully Jewish or authentically Jewish? Will I be accepted by the community when I do it? Will I always be sort of labeled a convert, or can I just be Jewish?”
What do you wish more people knew about the process of converting to Judaism?
Well, there is a common understanding based on history that Jews are not a proselytizing religion, and generally speaking, through much of Jewish history where Jews didn’t have sovereignty, and were not always safe and secure, that has definitely been the case. I think part of that is that we do not believe that we have a monopoly on religious truth and that others need to be Jewish to have a full and rich and faithful kind of life. But when Jews have been secure and safe at different times in history, especially when we were sovereign in our own country, like in the land of Israel during the Hasmonean dynasty, we actually did a lot of conversion and proselytizing. When we do feel safe and secure, I think if we believe that if what we have is rich and meaningful and might be meaningful for someone else, I don’t know why we wouldn’t share it. There should never be coercion, but I think it’s more just a sense that if this is something that could be meaningful for someone else, why wouldn’t we want to share it?
There’s been some pushback about Nobody Wants This’s depiction of Jewish womanhood. What do you wish you saw more of in terms of Jewish women onscreen?
I think the show did unfortunately play into a lot of unfortunate stereotypes of Jewish women and a kind of small-mindedness about who can belong, and a sense of rejection. I think it’s a little bit outdated in that I do not think, in my experience currently, that the vast majority of Jewish families would automatically reject a non-Jewish girlfriend or boyfriend for their children in the way that the mother is depicted as doing. I actually think there’s much more open-mindedness and acceptance and inclusion than there used to be. I mean, I think there’s still a desire for Jewish grandchildren, and I think people often want to see, in their own children and in their grandchildren, a way that they can share in family rituals. But I think it would be really nice to portray it that way, rather than closed-mindedness. I also really hate the use of words like shiksa, which I don’t think anyone uses anymore
Are there any depictions of Jewish identity onscreen that have stayed with you, or that you have appreciated?
I really appreciate that Noah the rabbi on Nobody Wants This comes across as a real person with foibles and insecurities and desires. I think that rabbis are different than priests in that we marry and we have children and we’re not supposed to somehow not have any of those human attributes or create families or be married. I think there’s something kind of nice about portraying rabbis as leaders who are also human beings and not somehow holier-than-thou.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
