In 1948, Vogue published its 658-page Book of Etiquette, compiled by editor Millicent Fenwick, featuring how-tos, dos and don’ts, and the proper politesse for a remarkably varied set of scenarios. But as Fenwick writes in the introduction: “Etiquette is based on tradition, and yet it can change.” Some 75 years later, Oh, Behave! is a new monthly Vogue column in which experts sound off on today’s ever-evolving social etiquette.
For a certain type of clotheshorse, all bets are off at a sample sale—where designers off-load their unsold, damaged, or gently-worn (hence “sample”) wares in a typically anonymous, no-frills space by invite-only. But when surrounded by these deep designer discounts even the most beautifully behaved shoppers get ugly. It’s a distinctly New York experience and one that requires tact and planning—and sharp elbows—to fully enjoy.
Walking us through their best practices in this month’s edition of Oh, Behave! are sample sale regulars Jenna Lyons and Alex Consani. The former needs no introduction: Lyons masterminded an entire aesthetic as creative director of J.Crew before landing herself a role on The Real Housewives of New York City, and has amassed a stellar collection of clothing along the way, much of which came via sample sales. (So much so, that Lyons’ hosted a massive, much-buzzed-about closet sale earlier this year.)
Opposite Lyons is model Alex Consani, TikTok wunderkind, a face of Marc Jacobs and Etro, and recent courier of a bleach bottle at Moschino’s show during Milan Fashion Week. The hilarious Consani, who practically speaks entirely in pull quotes, has a long history of shopping discounted and not-new threads and sample sales. Find their guide to “the rules” of sample sale etiquette below.
Vogue: You get a coveted invite to a sample sale. Are you hush-hush about it?
Lyons: To everyone in the world, yes. But to a certain group of people who I think would appreciate it, I’m definitely down to share. I’m not a big fan of shopping by myself.
Consani: Well, I’m not a gate-gatekeeping girl. I think it’s really important to share the opportunity to appreciate fashion—especially as not all people, especially my age, are able to afford it. No shade to all of my girls, but I’ll tell one or two people. I’m not just going to be like, “Everybody, let’s meet up at this sample sale!”
You hear of a sample sale you’re not invited to but want to go—do you crash?
Lyons: I pout first. And then I call everyone I know to see if I can get in.
Consani: Girl, if I want it, I’m going to crash it. What are they gonna say? No? If the pockets are open, the door should be too. That’s my thought.
A not-on-the-list acquaintance asks you to share the PR contact for a sample sale. Do you oblige?
Lyons: This is going to sound terrible, but it really depends on whether they’ll do the brand justice. I take these things very seriously! It’s the same thing as giving a reference—I will not give a reference for someone I don’t think is right for the project or the job. So, if it’s a Prada sample sale, I’m really thoughtful and careful about it.
Consani: Yeah, I’ll share a PR contact any day! And if they don’t get back to them, guess what? I’m going to get that pair of Manolos for my friend. That’s what I think.
How early do you arrive and queue up?
Lyons: Okay, so this is a tricky one. I’ve never actually queued up for a sample sale. I’ve usually been invited by a press person and not had to wait. But stand in line? I will not. I can’t do it! I can’t wait! I have no patience. I’ll get squirrely and squiggly, and I’ll leave. I also feel like I don’t need anything that much in my life, to lose an hour of time waiting in line. There’s nothing in my life that I need, other than my health, that I would wait in line for.
Consani: I would say a good hour sounds right to me, but I know the people will be there at the crack of dawn. So it just depends what the sample sale is and how badly I want in.
What do you wear to a sample sale? Sneakers? Something easy-on, easy-off for the dressing room?
Lyons: This is a job! I’m going on a mission! I will wear slip-on shoes. I will wear leggings or a bodysuit or something. I usually like no bra and leggings and a simple sweater or sweatshirt. I also do not wear lipstick to sample sales or a lot of makeup because you’re putting clothes on and off, and you don’t want to get any makeup on them. There is a definite strategy, especially if you’re going to a really good one.
Consani: To each their own but I’m a heel girl, so I’m going to wear heels. Probably something easy to get on—like I wouldn’t wear a corset to a sample sale, but it also depends on whether I’m invited or not. Because if I’m not invited, I will be arriving in a corset and heels to let you know that I’m here for fashion.
What are your thoughts on communal dressing rooms at sample sales?
Lyons: The Prada sample sale that I went to—oh my God, my friend Sarah and I cleaned house—but it wasn’t like I was blocking and tackling people. People were intense, but they also had time slots for people and the dressing rooms weren’t chaotic.
Consani: I think communal dressing rooms are good. As long as you’re around supportive people who aren’t telling you to put that down—just so they can pick it up themselves—that’s shady. If it’s a group full of girls or a majority of girls who are supportive of what I’m wearing and are, if they are giving input, nothing but positive, I’m supportive of it. But when it’s a judgmental space? Not the vibe.
Do you think about the undergarments you’ll wear and if they’ll be seen in the communal dressing rooms?
Lyons: Here’s what I’ll say; the only thing that has not dropped on my body is my boobs. I’m very lucky; my boobs are still okay, so I just don’t care [if they’re seen]. I don’t really wear a bra normally, so I don’t want to try anything on with the bra, because I find it changes the way clothes hang on you and it can give you a different shape.
Consani: Being seen naked? Oh girl, that’s not a problem for me. I mean, at the end of the day, you are just trying to buy the clothes to show them off to the world. Who cares if the girlies at the sample sale see a little titty? That is nothing to be scared of, in my opinion. But I would love a little bit more privacy, and I definitely value privacy, especially when it comes to nakedness. I’m trans, and changing rooms are definitely a point of conversation—just having the ability to get dressed in a comfortable space. But I’m blessed, I don’t really care.
Can you ever try things on in the aisles?
Lyons: Totally. In a sample sale, all bets are off. If you can make a decision right in the aisle and not have to go to the dressing room or wait in line, that’s great. It’s like, please, go for it.
Consani: I think it’s kind of better sometimes because you get the chance to see people’s reactions when you put something on. People at sample sales, or at least the closet sales that I’ve been to, are very often the type to come up and be like, “Dang, that looks good on you!” But in the dressing room, everyone’s so focused on themselves that you don’t really get a chance to have that conversation that I value so much.
You’re debating buying something—do you walk around the sale with it for safekeeping?
Lyons: I’m not putting that thing down. Oh yeah, Not putting that down.
Consani: Well, I’m going hold onto it if I have any inkling that I want it. When I try things on in the dressing room, I really will do my runway walk. I’ll show it off to the girls and I’ll get a reaction—I want people to react to what I wear, whether it’s good or bad. And if I get a good or bad reaction, that’s how I know it s something I should be buying. If everyone’s kind of just looking around then I’m going to put that right back on the rack.
How many pieces can you hold onto at once?
Lyons: As much as you can carry? Listen, this is like a sport. I’m sorry but if I’m not sure yet, I’m going to hold onto it until I know.
Consani: If you can’t physically hold it all in your hands, that’s not a good look. And that’s also just like, girl, how many clothes do you need? Do you know what I mean?
Someone is manhandling the item you want—do you butt in? Or is it finder’s keepers?
Lyons: I’m fully prepared to say to somebody, I don’t think that s going to work for you, but it would look great on me. I don’t mind saying that. And I also think sometimes people need a nudge one way or the other. Sometimes, you can tell somebody’s not sure. And then if you actually say to them, “Oh, I really love that. Are you taking that?” Sometimes, it’ll tip someone s scales. Back in my J.Crew days, we used to have massive sample sales, enormous. I can distinctly remember there being a big, chunky cashmere sweater that I was obsessed with. I literally petitioned for it. I was young and I was like, “I want that thing and I’m not going to leave it alone.”
Consani: Well, if someone’s holding something, I mean, it’s crazy to go up to them! But it’s like a game of chess; once their hands are off the piece, you’re free to make your move. So yeah, I’m going to grab it—if it’s something I want and someone puts it down, I’ll snatch it right up. But out of someone’s hands? Then I’m going to let them have it. It’s never that serious.
Do you talk to fellow shoppers about their hauls? Or let them be?
Lyons: Totally. Oftentimes people ask me what I think. I’m totally down to tell them, but the thing that I have noticed, and it’s really strange, is the number of times people have asked me what I think—like in any store, not just at a sample sale—and people never take my advice.
Do you set a budget?
Lyons: I have no rationale. I’m not strategic about it at all. I think I probably should be? But no, I don’t go with a budget. You just never know what you’re gonna find. I don’t think I’ve ever spent more than ten grand at a sample sale.
Consani: Listen, I’m a frugal queen. I appreciate saving a good coin, and at a sample sale, there is a good chance to do that. Honestly, I’m the type of person who buys things for an investment, but I’m not at a point in my life where I’m able to spend more than four figures at one time on one piece of clothing—and when or if the option came, maybe? It just has to really speak to me. But I try to come in with a mentality of: Let me not spend more than, like, rent.
Can you ever haggle or bargain?
Lyons: Yes, especially if something’s wrong with it or it’s damaged. I don’t usually buy stuff like that, but there have been moments where something has had a little hole in it. And I don’t care. I want it.
Consani: I’m going to haggle, especially if the item’s damaged or used. I’m the first person to say, “Um, there’s a stitch missing. Can we take $5 off?” Which is kind of embarrassing to say because I know a lot of my friends and fellow people in this industry think I’ll pay for it, whatever. But listen, it’s not new, so let’s talk about it, you know?
Can you take photos and shop for other people?
Lyons: Hell no. Like I said, no one listens to me anyway.
Consani: Yeah, but I think it’s something that I have to have a conversation with the person about prior to going to the sale. It’s a lot to go out and shop for other people while shopping for yourself.
You bought something at a sample sale, but now you have regrets and you can’t return it, what do you do?
Lyons: I have a massive storage space downstairs and it either gets given away or I’ll sell it. It happens less now than it used to. That’s why I think it’s always good to not ask too many people. God, I had one friend who I had to stop shopping with because everything she encouraged me to buy, I would get home and be like, “What was I thinking?”
Consani: The RealReal. I feel like it’s a great way to take back all the guilt.
Someone compliments something you got at the sample sale on mega-discount, do you share that it was a steal?
Lyons: Oh my God, yes. That’s the best.
Consani: I love a bargain. Listen, I saw something that I like, and I’m wearing it, and it wasn’t expensive. I’m gonna flex that because it’s a rarity. It’s something to celebrate. I’ll talk about it.
What’s the worst behavior you’ve witnessed at a sample sale?
Lyons: The worst behavior is wearing too much makeup, getting the clothes dirty, leaving them in a pile in the dressing room, wearing too much jewelry that catches, and not being respectful to the clothes. Particularly in a high-end sample sale, I just think that’s really gross. I have a deep respect for clothing, and I know how hard it is to work in a retail store. We’re all there for the same reason, it’s for the love of the clothes, so let’s take care of them.
Consani: Grabbing things out of people’s hands. I don’t think it’s ever that serious. At the end of the day, it’s just clothing. Yes, it’s a bargain, but it’s not Black Friday circa 2013. Like, there’s no reason to be throwing fists over clothing, you know?
What’s the best thing you’ve ever purchased at a sample sale?
Lyons: The years? I remember Katayone Adeli. I’ll never forget this. When I was younger, I loved Katayone Adeli, and in those days, I didn’t really have enough money to afford a lot of her clothes—the pants at the time were $400 or $500, and the coats were over $1,500. There was a cashmere coat that I had been looking at and looking at and looking at. And I’d gone to the store maybe four or five times, and I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t spend the money. I will never forget she had a sample sale; I walked in, and that coat was at the front of the rack. I beelined, and I’m sure I knocked someone over but I don’t care. I got the coat, and it was one of those moments when I could not have been happier. It totally made my year, I was so happy.
Consani: I don’t remember where, but I got a Louis Vuitton by Marc Jacobs bag from 2008; it was the collection where Naomi Campbell was wearing a nurse’s outfit in the runway show. That bag, that is a score in my eyes. It’s the Louis Vuitton monogram with purple spray paint on it and then red python handles. It’s so fab.
What are the best sample sales?
Lyons: The Prada sample sale is pretty epic. I think people don’t understand why clothes are so expensive, but having worked in the industry, I know why something is the price it is—the level of fabric quality, the tailoring, the embellishments, and what goes into those clothes—I’m so aware of it. And so to be able to get something like that price under the cost of making the garment, that always feels really special. I would love to go to a Bottega or a Loro Piana, but I haven’t been invited. Maybe I will get invited. [Editor’s note: Please invite Jenna Lyons!]
Consani: A lot of my friends do closet sales and I’ve done a couple of them, actually. Those are the best, in my opinion, because you see new clothing, old clothing, clothing from all different sizes, and clothing from all different eras. And it’s a lot less organized, so you get to dig. I’m a digger; I grew up shopping at Goodwill, so that was my type of score.
What would be your dream sample sales?
Lyons: Does Hermès even have sample sales? That just doesn t even seem like a thing. Valentino, Chanel. I mean, I’m sure they don’t have them, either. YSL. Like anything where the quality of the clothing is at that level. Bottega would be beautiful. I mean there are so many beautiful clothes.
Consani: A Birkin sample sale? If I could get a Birkin, I take back everything I ever said in this interview. If they had a Birkin sample sale, I would be crazy. I’m going to take 50 Birkins. I’m going to fight. I’ll do everything I can to get that for free or for cheap.
