It’s no secret that surrounding yourself with toxic people can drain you, while healthy relationships support longevity. After all, there’s nothing like the warm and fuzzy feeling that comes from a cozy get-together with friends, a leisurely dinnertime chat, or an impromptu phone call from someone you love.
As it turns out, the wellbeing that comes from social connection isn’t just emotional—it’s also cellular. Research shows that strong relationships actually guard against the chronic low-grade inflammation that stifles immune response, stresses skin, weakens digestion, and makes us much more susceptible to illness and fatigue.
“Social connections can affect telomeres, highlighting how interconnected people are,” write Elissa Epel, PhD, and Elizabeth Blackburn, PhD, in their book The Telomere Effect, which explores how sustained psychological stress shortens telomeres, the protective DNA-protein caps at the ends of chromosomes.
A study that examined relationships and inflammation across lifespan corroborates this fact. “Those who have supportive close relationships have lower rates of morbidity and mortality compared to those who do not. Inflammation is one mechanism that may help to explain this link. Chronically high levels of inflammation predict disease. Across the lifespan, people who have supportive close relationships have lower levels of systemic inflammation compared to people who have cold, unsupportive, conflict-ridden relationships. Not only are current relationships associated with inflammation, but past relationships are as well.”
Social connections improve health
Here’s how it works: Social interaction releases oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins, the neurotransmitters that reduce cortisol, improve prefrontal connections, and favor emotional resilience and neuronal plasticity. “At the immunological level, warm and stable relationships decrease low-grade inflammation and immune system reactivity associated with isolation,” says longevity expert Lourdes Ramón of the Palasiet Wellness Clinic in Spain. “In short, social relationships are a powerful anti-stress factor that protects our telomeres: It modulates inflammation, regulates hormones and sustains psychological well-being, which is why it has been found to be an essential biological nutrient.”
Stress contributes to premature aging—not just visibly, but also internally. Quality social connections, on the other hand, are a great buffer against chronic stress, and they can be as simple as small, meaningful interactions. “They help create a sense of belonging and community that fosters the development of life purpose, or ikigai. Being aligned with our purpose and feeling valued in our community influences our longevity in a remarkable way,” notes Ramón. “A life purpose is an overarching framework that frames our goals and directs our actions; a key aspect of our life with profound ramifications on physical and mental health. People who have a clear life purpose cope better with stress, have better overall health parameters, suffer less cognitive decline and live longer.”
Strong relationships support good habits
Quality relationships also promote healthier habits. “Healthy social relationships regulate the amygdala, reinforce the sense of purpose, belonging and vital coherence, and promote healthy behaviors in a natural way,” explains Ramón.
Of course, this works the opposite way to: “Supportive relationships can substantially influence inflammation by facilitating health promoting behaviors, while relationship conflict or termination can provoke detrimental health behaviors including less physical activity, disturbed sleep, unhealthy diets, and greater use of alcohol and other drugs,” notes a study that looked at the effects of “marital transitions” on changes in dietary and other health behaviours.
When it comes to the habits that actually improve our social relationships, it’s all about making connection a priority and remembering that small behaviors really add up. It may seem obvious, but as public health researcher Jaidev Gollakotathe at the University of Minnesota points out, it’s important to keep the following simple relationship practices central to your life:
- Make time for the people who are important to you.
- Be supportive and caring. Let your loved ones know that you care about them.
- Communicate openly and honestly with your loved ones. This will help to build trust and understanding.
- Resolve conflict in a healthy way. This means communicating respectfully and listening to each other’s point of view.
- Treat your loved ones with respect, even when you disagree with them.
- Be forgiving. Everyone makes mistakes. Be willing to forgive your loved ones when they hurt you.
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