So here it goes: You’ve found your person. You’ve got the ring. You’ve told some of the key people in your life (or kept totally shtum). Now, it’s time to pop the question. But what to say during a proposal, potentially one of the biggest moments in your—and your significant other’s—life?
If you’re planning to ask someone to be with you for the rest of your lives, it’s important to decide what to say during a proposal in advance—so you can prepare yourself for what’s a super special life moment. Imbue your proposal speech with thoughtful sentiments from your relationship, and make sure to ask your partner at the end to marry you.
What to say during a proposal really isn’t as simple as getting down on one knee, pulling out an engagement ring, and saying, “Will you marry me?”
While you can follow that classic script, it’s likely that you will want to take some time to make your proposal speech feel more personalized and special to your own relationship. As someone who has successfully popped the question before, I’ve come to learn that preparation for your proposal is a good thing—especially if your emotions take over in the moment, and you still want to get both the gist and the spirit of what you wanted to say out there.
If you’re choosing to spend the rest of your life with your partner, you should consider reflecting on your love story, your feelings for them, and your future as a married couple. Or you can go totally in a different direction, and make it truly your own. Need a little guidance on how to figure out how to pop the question? Read ahead for some tips before you pull out that engagement ring.
How to Decide What to Say
While the phrase is cliché, you really should try to speak from the heart in your proposal. However, you should take some time to brainstorm your approach first so it’s more measured than off-the-cuff and impromptu. Think about a few key points you want to make within your speech that express the sentiments you want to convey. Having those touchstones notched in your head can help you stay on track when you are actually popping the question.
You might, for example, want to talk about your beginnings as a couple and those first sparks of when you fell in love. Give it some color, articulate your own memory. You also could reflect on some of your favorite moments together, as well as the low points that you got through as a duo. A proposal may also touch on all the reasons why you continue to love your person, how they make you better, and some romantic lines about how you see yourselves growing together as a couple. And, of course, you can speak to your possible future as spouses: merging your family, possibly growing your family, and living the rest of your lives together side by side.
Think about where you are proposing, too. If you are doing it in a location that is meaningful to you as a couple, make sure to share why you chose to get down on one knee in that special place. Finally, make sure to end your speech with some version of “will you marry me?” While these proposal speech ideas might seem general, layering them with the personal details of your lives and love story will make it all feel truly meaningful.
How to Structure a Proposal Speech
While there is no traditional structure of what to say when proposing, giving your speech a beginning, middle, and end can be helpful as you are crafting it. You might want to think about creating an outline for your proposal as well, emphasizing those key sentiments you want to express. An easy formula for a proposal? Say why you love your partner, why you want to spend the rest of your life with them, and ask them to marry you. It’s also great to plan when exactly you will pull out the ring and get down on one knee within this flow. Coming back to that structure and timing can help you as those nerves kick in.
Other Considerations for Your Proposal
Have some more questions around how to word your engagement? See a few more tips on how to pull of the perfect proposal below.
If you know you have a way with words, you don’t necessarily have to plan out your speech to a T. However, you should at least have an outline ready in your head so that you hit the points you want to make. If public speaking—especially in emotional moments—is not your forté, you can’t go wrong with writing out exactly what you want to say. If you have some time ahead of your planned proposal, you can go back and edit the speech to get it to your liking. It’s also a great idea to practice saying it out loud so you can feel comfortable saying the words and get what you want to say into your muscle memory. Still, you don’t want to feel like you are reciting a monologue from a play, either. If you have some spontaneous words you want to add along the way or comment on anything happening in the environment around you, feel free to add it in.
While we love notes to make sure we are staying on track in a professional setting, they can really take away the romance from your proposal. A shaky piece of paper or having your phone’s notes app out can feel a bit awkward in this potent moment, especially if you are also holding a ring box in your other hand. Memorizing your speech is the best approach. However, don’t feel as if you have to stick to your original script word for word. Just make sure you hit on the themes you wanted to express. No one will know if you got a few phrases off from how you originally planned it.
You can have your proposal speech last 30 seconds or five minutes. The length is really up to you. Just be conscious of how long you plan to get down on one knee for. There is a possibility you might end up being a bit shaky getting up if you’re there too long.
Happy proposing! Once you’ve popped the big question and secured your future spouse, post-proposal life can be assuaged by answering the unknowns on engagement party etiquette, bachelorette destinations, rehearsal dinners, and honeymoon options.
