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Getting ready to pop the big question, but feeling a bit lost about how to propose? You may have the engagement ring, already tailored to your partner’s ring size, and the possibilities for the perfect proposal story swirling in your head. Perhaps you have a few marriage proposal ideas already. A rose-petaled scavenger hunt through your home? A special moment beneath the twinkle of a Christmas tree? Whatever the scenario may be, our top tip is to stay true to your unique relationship.
Resist the urge to follow fleeting engagement fads; your wedding proposal deserves to be as one-of-a-kind as your love. “Proposals are so forever that I don’t like to see trends overtake them,” says Emily Forrest Skurnik, head of communications at Zola. Nor must they rely on dated conventions: “It’s not always a man proposing to a woman. When we think about a proposal, it’s always someone getting down on one knee. My biggest tip is you don’t have to do those things if it’s not right for you. You just don’t.”
Entering the engagement season, typically between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day, Vogue is here with a guide on how to propose, authentically, from selecting the perfect setting to the proposal speech.
Do: Ensure You’re on the Same Page
First and foremost, have all the essential conversations about your future with your partner. You want to make sure that marriage is something they are not only open to, but are determined to do. If family is important to your significant other, consider talking to their loved ones to ask permission before getting down on one knee.
Surprise proposals are becoming less common, with couples often spending several years together before marriage. According to The Knot’s 2025 Real Weddings Study, a whopping 57% of couples begin discussing engagement over a year before a proposal and a mere 2% never discussed it. The majority of couples even begin their wedding planning process before they’re officially engaged, according to a Zola report.
Put simply, your partner shouldn t be caught completely off guard by your proposal timing, but the execution is open to personal touches and surprises.
Don’t: Overthink It
In our era of Bachelor-style and Instagram proposals, the pressure to make a grand gesture can be overwhelming. But, keep it manageable and focused on the emotional connection between you and your S.O. instead. Your proposal doesn’t have to be on a hot air balloon in Paris or a picturesque beach in the Maldives—unless your person has explicitly expressed that preference and that fits your budget. Some of the best proposals can be intimate moments in your own home or in a favorite spot you both frequent.
Do: Personalize the Proposal
Plan what you want to say beyond the standard, “Will you marry me?” However, it’s best to plan out in bullet points rather than a typed up monologue. You don’t want to sound too robotic or be profusely sweating because you forgot the script. Another approach: pen a sweet letter to read aloud that your better half can later hold onto as a keepsake.
Location matters as well. Choose a spot that holds sentimental value, like you had your first date or where you met during freshman orientation week seven years ago.
Don’t: Make It a Public Spectacle
Speaking of location, it s best to opt for a low-key proposal. Some may love the public display, but emotions can run high and, in general, nobody wants to be proposed to amidst a crowd of tourists, traffic, or New York construction—especially if your love is on the timid side. No flash mobs. No busy restaurants. And, absolutely no jumbotrons. (Unless that’s something your partner will love and you’re 100% sure they’ll say yes.)
Do: Get a Photographer
Considering whether to get a photographer document your proposal? Think ahead to ten years from now, when you’ll want to revisit the moment. Or, perhaps the next day when you want to make an engagement announcement on social media. It s never a bad idea think about hiring a proposal photographer or videographer, or ask a trusted best friend to document the big moment. If this feels impossible to do without spoiling the intimacy, incorporate mementos (like the letter) into the romantic proposal that you can keep or take pictures of afterward. It doesn t have to be a full-blown photo shoot either. Just capturing the moment can be something that you and the love of your life can cherish forever.
Do: Decide If You’ll Get Down on One Knee
Getting down on one knee to propose is a tradition passed down from the medieval era, when knights would do so as a sign of chivalry. Today, the practice continues as a gesture of devotion and reverence to your partner when asking for their hand in marriage. Of course, getting down on one knee is absolutely optional. Just be sure to know for sure if you want to follow the tradition before your proposal takes place. Choose to do it at the last minute and might end up wavering in an awkward semi-lunge.
Do: Practice Your Proposal
Even if you only practice one time, saying the words you’re planning for your proposal will help you prepare and calm some of those nerves. Rehearse in front of a mirror, to a close friend, or to your pet. You’ll be able to sense how your script flows and what feels most natural to you. Also, remember to practice your physicality—like kneeling or grabbing their left hand to put on the ring. Of course, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Flubbing some words when getting emotional during the real thing will likely be endearing to your partner, rather than a reason for them to say no.
Do: Plan How You’ll Carry the Ring
If you want to keep an element of surprise for your proposal, it’s best to keep the engagement ring well hidden. That said, you don’t want to lose it either. A loose ring falling through a hole in your pocket onto a sandy beach is the worst-case scenario. Instead, find a secure place where you can stow the ring—preferably in its box—and make sure it’s well concealed.
Don’t: Forget About Yourself
Remember that this is for you, too. Don t let the stress overwhelm the joy of the occasion—remember, some nerves are good! As the proposer, you have the power to plan something that makes both of you happy. If you’re contemplating a more elaborate or destination proposal, consider hiring a proposal planner to assist with the grandeur of the event. While definitely a splurge, it s an investment in your well-being if you’re not much of a planner and potentially the rest of your lives.
Do: Make Post-Proposal Plans
After popping the question, have something special set up to celebrate afterward. You can pop a bottle of champagne, make a reservation at their favorite restaurant, or even set up a small engagement party with friends and family. You ll absolutely want to savor in the rush after they say “yes” and continue to enjoy in that moment.
Don’t: Forget the Ring
When your engagement day arrives, the most important thing on your task list to remember is the ring. Even if a few things in your plans fall through, as long as you have this piece of jewelry and your partner present, you can ask that special question. Still need a ring? We have a guide for to help you as you begin your shopping process.
