Lulu Wang and Barry Jenkins Ended 2024 With a Surprise Backyard Wedding in Los Angeles
Shortly before Lulu Wang began shooting The Farewell in 2018, a friend introduced her to fellow filmmaker Barry Jenkins, suggesting, “Maybe you can get some advice from Barry.” But when Lulu met the Moonlight auteur at a hotel bar, she found their mutual appreciation for each other’s work blossomed into something more. “He suggested we eat at the bar, and I love eating at the bar. I used to write a blog called ‘Eat at the Bar,’” Lulu recalls. “He was like, ‘Do you think I should get a burger? If I got the burger, would you share that, or should I get the chicken?’ Drinks turned into dinner, family style, which is the only way my family and I eat, sharing everything. He immediately felt like home.”
In November 2023, Barry surprised Lulu with a proposal surrounded by their family and friends. “I was so shocked that I forgot to respond for several seconds until Barry reminded me that it was a question I actually had to answer,” Lulu says. Barry popped the question with a vintage ring featuring mine-cut diamonds that sit in the shape of a flower. “A friend introduced me to a jeweler who specializes in antiques and vintage jewels, Laurel Stearns,” Barry says. “This way, everything I looked at had a history, a story that Lulu and I would be continuing. I really thought she would be moved by that.” The ring reminds Lulu of their garden. “I’m not a big jewelry person, but it feels very me,” she says. “The beautiful thing about Barry is that oftentimes I don t know myself enough. He really knows me.”
Despite their engagement, Lulu and Barry were not rushing to plan a wedding. “We’re not big wedding people. We’re not traditional at all,” she says. But last year, while on a trip to Greece, Lulu received a powerful message that caused the pair to stop in their tracks. “A friend of mine said, ‘I’ve never recommended her to anyone, but I have this feeling that you should go see this shaman that I work with,’” Lulu recalls. “When I went to go see her, she welcomed me and my ancestors into the room.” Among them was her beloved grandmother, who inspired The Farewell and died in 2020. “[The shaman] said, ‘There’s a lot happening for you guys, and there’s a lot that’s coming. Your grandma is here and she’s saying, Get married, get married.’” Lulu’s grandmother wasn’t the only matriarch present that day. While she inquired if Barry’s mother, who passed away last year, was present, the shaman replied, “No, I don’t see a mother, but I see a woman who’s calling herself auntie.’” It was Barry’s grandmother Minerva, whom he called Aunt Minerva “because she felt like she was too young to be called a grandma,” Lulu says. “She suggested to honor your ancestors, to stop fighting against tradition, and just go and make it official.”
Lulu admits that both of them—especially Barry—were a bit skeptical, “but when we heard that, we both thought, ‘You know what? We can still have a wedding at some point, but let’s just listen to this message.’” Barry concurs. “I ve always considered myself less woo-woo than most but when I heard that story I was floored,” he says. “I mean I was floored enough that we were at the Santa Barbara courthouse less than a week later.” They were joined by four friends and their dog, Chauncey. Lulu wore a white Sandy Liang dress with an exaggerated sailor collar and Barry chose a gray checked suit by Evan Kinori. Chauncey also dressed for the occasion in a pinstripe tuxedo shirt and bow tie.
The pair kept their August elopement largely under wraps, but decided they still wanted to celebrate with their community. When Barry’s film Mufasa premiered in December they knew that it was the perfect opportunity to gather everyone. “Deceiving them on what was being celebrated was the key,” Barry says. So, under the pretense of an engagement party, they decided to throw a surprise wedding in their backyard in Los Angeles. “We didn’t want people to make it a big deal. We kept it pretty small and had it at our house in our backyard,” Lulu says. “Of course, we’re filmmakers, so we were like, How do we tell the best story of this?”
Both Barry and Lulu started the party dressed in cocktail attire before changing into their ceremony outfits just before sunset. “The band started playing and everybody came down to the garden and sat or stood around, and we walked down the aisle and did our vows,” Lulu says. It’s safe to say they pulled off the surprise. “I heard an audible gasp.”
Barry wore a suit that he was gifted by Dior, while Lulu wore a custom Simone Rocha dress—a wedding gift from the designer. Rocha adapted one of the closing looks from her spring 2024 show: a corseted dress with a sheer tulle overlay, lined with flowers. “I’d seen that dress on the runway and told her how much I loved it,” Lulu says. “It was December, so we did longer sleeves and it was fitted around the waist like a ballerina bottom.” Instead of stuffing the dress with silk flowers, Rocha suggested that Lulu could use real flowers as she does on the runway. “We went to the flower market and we were looking at what was in season and what was the right color,” Lulu says. “We got these blush ranunculus that we put inside the dress. It was all real flowers and it matched the bouquet.” Styled by Kat Typaldos (who also helped Lulu curate her courthouse outfit), she finished off her look with a pair of pearl-encrusted perspex sandals—also by Rocha—and a veil anchored by a matching pearl headband. Aaron Paul was on hand for hair and makeup.
Composer Nicholas Britell—one of Barry’s frequent collaborators—helped connect the couple with the five-piece band to play them down the aisle. As the sun set, Barry walked down the aisle to Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together,” led by a saxophone player; Lulu and her father Haiyan followed closely behind, ushered by a trumpet player. After they were officially pronounced husband and wife by Lulu’s childhood pastor Laurie Kraus, the newlyweds made their way back down the aisle to “What You Won’t Do for Love” by Bobby Caldwell.
Lulu reached out to her friend Sue Chan of Care of Chan—who organized a Chinese wedding banquet for the New York premiere of The Farewell—to help them organize the party. “She knew what we wanted—something that felt really organic and not overly planned,” Lulu says. Chan introduced the couple to Chef Balo Orozco, who incorporated Mexican and Asian flavors into their open-fire dinner.
Later on in the evening, the party moved into the living room. Though they weren’t planning on doing one, Barry and Lulu did an impromptu first dance to “Watch Me Dance” by Tom Misch. Afterward, they played music and everyone danced in the living room, and the party wound down before midnight. “It just felt integrated. It felt very much like us,” Lulu says. “It wasn’t fussy and it wasn’t overly ceremonial, but it was beautiful for everyone to witness and celebrate love. And that’s, I think, always worth doing.”
Photo: Courtesy of Lulu Wang and Barry Jenkins1/52Eloping at the Santa Barbara Courthouse on August 19, 2024. Lulu wore Sandy Liang and Barry wore Evan Kinori.
Photo: Courtesy of Lulu Wang and Barry Jenkins2/52Exchanging sweet nothings in the park after eloping—while Chauncey chaperones.
