This Couple Had a Chinese Tea Ceremony—And Ballerinas!—At Their Castle Wedding on Long Island
Before they were @RayandJanny, the TikTok-famous couple with 555,000 followers, they were Raymond Zhao and Janet Kim, high school students on Long Island. In 2012, Ray, a senior, and Janny, a sophomore, bonded in fashion marketing class. They remained friends for years, going on dates-that-weren’t-technically-dates to New York’s Museum of Modern Art and chocolatier Max Brenner. But after shopping and dinner on Christmas Eve 2020, Ray confessed to Janny that he wanted to start dating—for real.
“I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, not only because she had friend-zoned me for almost a decade, but also because she was moving to Korea indefinitely,” he says. Janny, who is Korean but had never lived there, was bound for adventure in Seoul. Feelings bubbled for Ray, but “I needed my Eat, Pray, Love moment,” she says.
Still, when the pandemic hit, Ray jetted across the world to visit. After a 14-day quarantine at a government-mandated hotel, the (masked) pair wandered the charming Ikseon-dong Hanok Street (an essential “dates village,” Janny said, filled with dessert cafes and boutique beer) and hopped to Jeju Island (“the Bahamas of Korea,” per Ray.) The trip was a turning point for Janny, who realized, “Hey, I really like him.” In 2022, she moved back to New York.
Last May, Ray proposed on Aruba’s Manchebo Beach, under the guise of an influencer collaboration with a local photographer. After posing for solo shots, Janny “turned around to see Ray down on one knee.”
In the early days of dating long-distance from Seoul, @RayandJanny was born. “When I missed him, I would make little videos of our dates in Korea and post it on TikTok,” she recalls. They started out just “for us,” but the clips went viral as they captured Korea’s “couple culture,” including women receiving what Janny calls “the princess treatment” and chivalry being very much alive. “Men tend to be gentlemen, like opening doors, making sure her head is covered when she s going into the car,” Ray explains. Typical TikToks feature Ray delivering Janny iced blueberry lattes in bed or escorting her home from the office (the couple works in finance).
For a September wedding as traditionally romantic as their content, Ray and Janny chose Oheka Castle, a French chateau-inspired estate in Huntington, New York. “It felt enchanting that we could have a European-style wedding right in our hometown,” the bride says. In contrast to their vast TikTok audience, they limited their guest list to under 100, Janny said, “to keep it super genuine.”
Honoring Janny’s roots and Ray’s Chinese culture was paramount. Born in Hong Kong, Janny immigrated to the U.S. at age six, while Ray was born in the U.S. to parents who immigrated from China. At the rehearsal dinner, also at Oheka Castle, they celebrated with a Korean pyebaek and Chinese tea ceremony, wedding traditions meant to unify the bride and groom’s families. “It was very emotional as the meaning of the ceremonies is showing respect to our parents by bowing and serving them tea,” Janny says. At the pyebaek, the couple caught dates (representing sons) and chestnuts (for daughters) tossed by their parents. “Ray was happy because we caught three—two boys and one girl,” Janny says. (“She dropped one in the middle,” he jokes.) Janny’s favorite part of the pyebaek came “when Ray piggybacked me around the venue…to symbolize his strength and love for me.”
Their Korean hanboks and pyebaek robes were designed by The Hanbok in muted hues, instead of the traditional red and royal blue. “We went for a modern look that aligned more with our personal styles,” Janny says. Ray’s mother traveled to Shanghai to commission their Chinese garments—Janny’s qipao dress and Ray’s zhongshan suit—requiring “lots of international Facetime calls,” according to the bride.
On the wedding day, Janny gave her followers the gift of four looks—an effort to dress for the different phases of the affair. For the ceremony, she opted for the high drama of a white silk ballgown with a sprawling train by Ines Di Santo, with whom she had a final fitting at her atelier in Canada. “Her designs truly embody romanticism and femininity,” Janny says. “It felt right for the grandeur of our venue.” Ray wore a made-to-measure Dior tuxedo with a Zegna bow tie and a Cartier Tank Louis, a wedding gift from Janny.
To feel fully like herself, Janny sought a makeup artist who specialized in Asian beauty, which can be daunting to find in the U.S. “American makeup doesn’t always suit Asian features,” she says. Ann Benjamas Liendo of All Brides New York made her feel “like an elevated version of myself.”
A harpist played “Moon River” as Janny walked down the aisle in one of Oheka’s manicured gardens. “Everything turned black-and-white and Janny was the only color I saw,” Ray says. The couple’s pastor, Drew Hyun of New York’s Hope Church, officiated, adding to the teary emotion for the couple who attends church every Sunday. In her vows, Janny thanked Ray for undergoing that fateful quarantine in Seoul that went on to cement their relationship. “I actually never dreamt about having a wedding before I met Ray,” she says, “but meeting him changed everything.”
Before recessing down the aisle together, “we took a moment to bow to each of our parents to express our respect and gratitude for their love and support,” Janny adds—another Korean wedding tradition.
The multi-part reception began with caviar and specialty cocktails, including one inspired by their puppy, Caicos (an Aperol spritz with a splash of peach dubbed the “Peach and Caicos”). Janny debuted her dinner dress: a romantic Ines Di Santo design with intricate floral appliques and detailing that doubled as her “something blue.” The New York couple and culture aficionados brought theater to the reception with singing, piano, and violin performances, and, holding special significance for Janny and Ray’s mother, who are both dancers: a ballet performance to Lana Del Rey’s “Young and Beautiful.”
“My favorite moment, though, was when Ray serenaded me with ‘Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You,’” Janny gleefully recalls. “My heart did somersaults—he has a great voice!”
Ray and Janny changed into second and third looks, respectively, for their cake-cutting and Champagne tower-toast. Janny slipped into sparkly mesh Christian Louboutin pumps and a custom column dress and silk chiffon cape by her friend and wedding guest, Korean-American designer Andrew Kwon. “We envisioned something that whispered sensuality, yet held the timeless elegance of Old Hollywood,” Kwon says. Meanwhile, Ray swapped his classic tux for a cream-colored corduroy suit by Tom Ford. “I wanted to have more fun while still keeping it dandy,” he says.
Ray’s outfit change arrived for the reception’s final phase: the party. “We transformed the ballroom in the castle into a sexy Milan supper club,” Janny says, complete with moody lighting and cabaret dancers. “It was inspired by Raymond’s personal style and also to strike a masculine balance from the rest of the day.” Guests sipped martinis and danced to a DJ, saxophonist, and electric violinist. Janny’s fourth and final look was sheer dance-party-inspired: a custom Ines Di Santo sequin halter dress and strappy Jonathan Simkhai heels.
After the wedding festivities, the party continued as Ray and Janny delayed their honeymoon in favor of a “buddy-moon” to the Hamptons with a group of friends who’d traveled from Korea, Singapore, and the U.K: “We didn’t want them to go home after a six-hour wedding,” she says. On TikTok and at home, the romance continues: After a bout of post-wedding blues that the big day was over, “We just feel different in our relationship,” Janny says. “There’s more compassion and love.”
Photo: Heather Waraksa1/85Our wedding invitations by Erin Braun were designed to exude presence and timeless elegance. Inspired by European wall moldings, sculptural white florals adorned the invitations which guests revealed by unraveling the intricate floral wrap.
Photo: Heather Waraksa2/85The enchanting grounds of Oheka Castle. It felt magical to have our wedding on a French-style château so close to home on Long Island, where we grew up, met, and fell in love.
