Celebrity Ushers Crash Vogue World: London (Ft. James Corden, Sienna Miller, James McAvoy, Cush Jumbo Damien Lewis)

[audience cheering]

Okay, okay, okay.

That s it. Thank you very much.

That s it. Show s over.

Thank you very much.

Listen to your ushers. Especially you.

Show s over, ladies and gentlemen.

Off you trot. Quick as you can, please.

Follow the exits, please, ladies and gentlemen.

This way. Off you go.

Thank you very much. Show s over.

[audience member chuckling]

Yeah, let s get it moving.

There is an after party. Apparently.

So the sooner you all go, you know,

the sooner we can go home.

[audience chuckling]

What s the... is that... oh, what s that?

Is that... are you? Are you finished?

Is that... is that waste?

It s not good, waste.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you for coming. Thank you so much.

Thank you. We appreciate it.

[audience cheering]

Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you!

Sir! Sir, I am serious!

Either you move, or I will move around you.

Okay, fine. That s what we ll do.

[audience members laughing]

Where s this suit from?

It s very cheap. It s very cheap material.

Oh my God.

Oh!

[Comedian] What s the matter with this lot?

[audience cheering]

Hey?

Taking ages to leave.

Well, it s cause they re in the really posh seats.

They don t understand the concept of time.

Or the concept of a night bus.

The circle normally clears quickest.

[Comedian] Yeah. Does it really?

How s it going on up in the circle?

[Comedienne] Oh, we finished ages ago.

[audience cheering]

[Comedian] Yeah, no,

we were just having a really good chat actually, weren t we?

I tell you what, they re an unruly bunch up there tonight,

weren t they?

[Comedian] I know!

I thought this was supposed to be a classy affair.

All high fashion and invite only , but-

Yeah, well, it is down here.

[Comedian] Yeah.

With your Lloyd Webers and your Winslet s, but up there...

[Comedians] Disgusting.

[audience cheering]

[Comedian] Animals. Animals.

Tell you what guys, sorry,

I m not really sure the lost property protocols here,

but I found this earring while I was hoovering.

Not entirely sure what to do with it.

It looks very expensive.

I ll take that.

Really?

Yeah. Yeah.

You sure?

Right, that will find its way home. Don t you worry.

That s absolutely safe with me.

Guys, guys,

you re never going to guess what happened to me tonight.

[Comedian] What?

I met little Sims.

What?

My gosh.

I know, I know!

Actually, pretty magical moment.

We really shared an electric connection.

What happened?

Well, you know, I m just out front, right?

And I m shilling programs,

and I m spitting mad lyrics, like, do you want a program?

And I looked through the room

and she s just like, locked on man.

She s like a tractor beam.

She s just laser beams, right?

And she s progressing towards me and I m like, whoa,

you better slow down little Miss Sunshine,

because I m telling you,

you don t know what s going to happen next, right?

And she goes to me, she goes,

unbelievable, I ll never forget it, she goes, excuse me .

What a lyricist.

And I go, what?

And she goes, can I get a program?

[audience laughing]

And then, then, then what happened?

Then, right, right, I go, absolutely .

And I just gave her the program.

[audience laughing]

Is that... that is it?

What?

[Comedian] Yeah. It s not your best story, is it?

[Comedian] Should we go? Let s do one. Come on guys.

I think we re done now.

[audience cheering]

Look at that.

[Comedians] Oh wow!

Oh wow!

[Comedienne] Wow. Look at that!

[Comedian] Would you look at that?

That is beautiful!

Yeah. I really love being out there,

being front of house tonight

and feeling all that excitement.

It was electric.

[Comedienne] Yeah.

I think that s what it s all about, isn t it?

It s like, you know, everybody feeling a part of something,

feeling alive, you know?

I suppose that doesn t feel too...

[Comedienne] No.

No, no, no.

Not at all, cause look, I remember I read this article,

amazing article on TikTok, and it was-

[audience cheering]

no, honestly, honestly, you know, life changing

and it was an actual scientific study, right,

on human beings, and what happens to them

when they re sitting together in a theater.

How their heartbeats begin to beat as one, all together,

and how they share a rhythm.

Even celebrities?

[audience laughing]

Even celebrities.

[Comedienne] Wow.

[Comedian] Wow.

But here s the thing, right?

You can t get that.

That only happens when we re all here together in one room.

If you don t get that, you don t experience it.

Hey, you can t rewind. Yeah.

[audience cheering]

You can t pause it. You can t rewind it.

You ve just got a chance to listen to a whole story,

start to finish.

And even though you re in a room with a thousand people,

all hearts beating.

Yeah. 10 minutes into the second act,

you feel like you might just be one of a hundred.

Oh. And when you hear the last line of that play...

You forget who you came with,

and you think the whole thing was just for you.

[Comedienne] Yeah.

You know, I ve dreamt of that since I was a little kid,

you know, just to stand on a West End stage!

[Stage Doorkeeper] Yeah! On the stage.

[audience cheering]

[Comedienne] Oh!

Behind it. And to the sides of it.

Sorry, I shouldn t... I m not-

No, no, no, no, no. Don t you dare go.

You stand put. You enjoy it.

See, it takes about a hundred different people

working about a hundred different jobs

to put a show on and to keep it running.

Crew, dresses, stage managers...

the people in front-

Listen, we need to apologize.

Are you the actual stage manager?

No, no. I m the stage doorkeeper.

[Comedians] Oh!

I m the keeper of the stage door.

[Comedienne] Ooh.

I don t why they have to make it sound so medieval,

but anyway.

No, I came here because I just had a call.

Apparently Kate Winslet dropped an earring somewhere here,

so did somebody pick it up?

[audience laughing]

[audience cheering]

[Comedienne] Found it!

Fine, there.

[Stage Doorkeeper] Thank you.

[Comedienne] Yeah. You re welcome.

As for you, there s still time.

It can still happen, you know?

As long as bloody AI doesn t take all our jobs away.

[audience cheering]

Yeah. All those ushers you meet,

[audience member shouting]

all the ice cream sellers in the interval,

all the program sellers,

a lot of them are the working actors and dancers,

maybe the writers, directors of the future.

They re all part of this sort of ritual

[gentle music]

that we all perform every night, the same time.

Across the city, across the country, thousands of theaters.

7:30, house lights dying down.

A hush of anticipation as the story begins.

And people step out onto that stage

to live out their dreams.

[music continues]

Right.

Shall we separate this into recycling and general waste?

And then we ll...

[audience laughing]

And I ll get this-

[comedians chattering]

Let s do it.

Come on. This way.

[dramatic music]

[audience cheering]