I did not like Episode 4 of All’s Fair, which heaped far too much trauma upon my angel Niecy Nash-Betts, but this week, I worked to reset my annoyance about the sexual-assault tropes and approach Episode 5 of All’s Fair with an open and nonjudgmental mindset. Let’s dive in and see how I fared in that endeavor, shall we?
- I love Sarah Paulson’s unenthused teen daughter.
- I feel like Sarah should understand her kid not getting along with her peers, no? Since she’s not exactly Miss Congeniality herself?
- How, exactly, does this tween know that “crystal meth is a hard road”?
- Just the sight of mean private-school girls in uniform ignoring this child is giving me middle-school flashbacks.
- Brooke Shields cameo, baby!
- They’re really just rolling out basically every beautiful actress over 40 as a jilted ex-wife or soon-to-be ex-wife, huh?
- This Alzheimer’s plotline is going to bum me out, I can tell.
- “I don’t want to be responsible anymore.” Same!
- Well, at least they’re not totally abandoning Emerald’s assault plotline after one episode, but I also…don’t want more of it.
- Hey, it’s that girlie from House whose name I always forget!
- Okay, I googled; it’s Jennifer Morrison.
- “Fire me? Too late, bitch, I quit.” Iconic.
- We really do need a moratorium on exes’ faces popping up as iPhone memories.
- Are you listening to me, Tim Cook?
- Naomi Watts’s bob is, once again, bobbin’.
- I’m already stressed about this prenup.
- Is Sarah perhaps getting some semblance of her groove back?
- Sarah’s going to have to learn the same lesson I did: Guys don’t necessarily love it when you’re super-mean to them.
- Could have lived without that Diddy freak-off joke, personally.
- I do enjoy the sight of Sarah Paulson taking out a guy’s man-bun.
- This sensual hair-wash goes crazy.
- If a Ryan Murphy project doesn’t feature a Stevie Nicks song, then it’s not legitimate.
- “Why are you being nice to me? Nobody is ever nice to me. What do you want?” LOL.
- Okay, we are not seeing enough of Teyana Taylor, so I’m glad she’s onscreen now, even if only for this pregnancy storyline.
- Do jaded LA tweens still enjoy Disneyland?
- I mean, I certainly do, but I’m a washed East Coast 30-something.
- Getting berated by your mother into writing a school admissions essay about her former cutting habit? Yikes. But…it would probably work?
- This out-loud use of “unalived” is making me cringe and feel deeply for Gen Z.
- Oh, hey, it’s Kim K!
- Where’s she been hiding this whole episode?
- “The nontraditional girl-gay family thing” actually sounds quite nice to me, as a gay girl.
- Nobody delivers the line “boo-fucking-hoo” quite like Sarah Paulson.
- Don’t do pink cocaine, kids!
- Truly, only Sarah Paulson could humanize this insanely written character.
- Hey, it’s Ed O’Neill as Glenn Close’s sick husband!
- Glenn’s house is very spooky-chic, and I want it.
- It’s sweeping-everything-off-the-table-in-anger time! Again!
- Damn, an Olympic-level crashout from Close.
- God, this show is so weird… and yet, I’m seated!
