A wedding toast is a moment where loved ones of newlyweds are given the chance to share their love for the couple and have guests join them in raising a glass. But it’s important to understand that there’s a difference between being asked to give a wedding toast and a wedding speech. Not only is a toast much shorter than a speech, it’s also a less formal part of the wedding proceedings. Still, it s a wonderful chance to speak from the heart and create a warm memory for the couple to remember when looking back on their big day.
Planning to give a toast at an upcoming celebration? Ahead, learn everything from when you should clink your glass to start up your small speech to what not to say in a wedding toast.
What Is the Difference Between a Wedding Toast and Speech?
“There’s often a little confusion between a toast and a speech, but trust me, they’re not the same—and knowing the difference is key to keeping a wedding flowing beautifully and meaningfully,” says wedding planner Jove Meyer. “A toast is short, sweet, and celebratory. It’s a quick moment to raise a glass, share a heartfelt sentiment, and invite everyone to join in honoring the marriers. Think of it as light and uplifting, just a few intentional words that bring the room together in love and joy.”
“A speech, on the other hand, is more personal and structured,” he continues. “It gives the speaker a bit more space to reflect, tell a meaningful story, or dive deeper into their connection with the marriers. Speeches can absolutely be funny, emotional, or a bit of both, but they should still be intentional and focused. I always recommend keeping them under five minutes.”
How Long Should a Wedding Toast Be?
Remember that your toast should not breach into speech territory, so keep your script extra tight. Meyer notes that toasts typically run two to three minutes max. Run much further over and you run the risk of messing with the timeline of the day.
Who Toasts and When?
The to-be-weds will likely select and inform guests they would like to give toasts ahead of the wedding so they are prepared to do it on the day of. Being chosen to speak at this life event is an honor usually held by those closest to the couple. “Toasts are usually given by someone in the marriers’ inner circle, such as a family member (chosen or biological) or a member of the wedding party,” notes Meyer.
Curious if you can give an impromptu toast either on the wedding day or at another weekend event? “Technically, yes, you can give a toast at a wedding without being asked in advance, but whether you should is another story,” advises Meyer. “Weddings are thoughtfully planned events, with each moment designed to reflect the couple s love story and maintain the flow and vibes of the celebration. If you weren’t invited to speak, it’s likely because the couple has already chosen the people they want to hear from. Jumping in uninvited, even with good intentions, can disrupt the energy and feel out of place.”
If you’re feeling the desire to say some words, the best way to handle it is to quietly approach the couple to get the go-ahead first. “If they say no, respect that and maybe share your thoughts in a card or during a private moment,” shares Meyer. In some cases, a couple might provide an open mic at an event where more guests can say something if they’re inspired. “It can be a lovely way to include more voices,” says Meyer. “However, as a planner, I don t recommend it. Open mics can quickly go off track, invite awkward or lengthy speeches, and shift the tone in ways that are hard to recover from. In my experience, it rarely ends well. That said, you know your guests best, and if it feels right for your group, it’s your call.”
So, when should a toast take place? They often work best during dinner, whether between courses or before the meal wraps up. That way, guests are seated, present, and able to take in your well wishes for the couple. One planner’s tip for couples queuing up posts throughout the rehearsal dinner or reception? “Make sure food is already served, and pause service during speeches to minimize movement and keep attention on the speaker,” says Meyer.
How to Create the Perfect Wedding Toast
A wedding toast should typically follow a general structure. First, introduce yourself. While the couple may know you, it’s likely not all the other guests do. Next, get into the meat of your toast and share what you admire about the couple. This could include a fun anecdote about either of them, them as a pair, or just general sentiments about why you care about them. Your toast should then move into well wishes for the couple as they begin their new life together. Finally, be sure to have all guests raise a glass and cheers to the newlyweds.
What to Avoid When Giving a Wedding Toast
While giving a toast can endear you further to the newlyweds and their guests, you don’t want to have a wedding toast etiquette faux pas. The most important thing you want the toast to do is make the couple feel celebrated, so this is not the time to embarrass them. A bit of humor is appreciated, but it should never be at the couple’s expense.
Before you tap your knife to your glass, create a bit of a game plan for what you’re going to say. You can either create an outline or write out what you want to say. If you try to wing it, you might get overrun with nerves and say something that doesn’t feel as intentional or concise. It’s best to practice your toast a few times in the mirror or to a close friend who can give you feedback to feel comfortable saying your words.
If you know you are giving a toast, it’s best to steer clear of having too many beverages before your speech. A little liquid courage is fine, but you don’t want your toast to go off the deep end and ramble on too long.
Toast Tips
“Whether it’s a toast or a speech, the golden rule is this: be prepared, keep it focused, and always end with a raised glass,” says Meyers. “A powerful moment doesn’t need to be long to leave a lasting impact. The goal is to honor the marriers with love and intention, not to steal the show. Keep it tight, keep it heartfelt and then let’s get back to the dance floor.”
