In 2005, Rutgers professor Jeannette Haviland-Jones sent out three different thank-you gifts—a candle, a fruit basket, and a floral bouquet—to over 100 women who had recently participated in one of her psychological studies. As it turns out, this was one more: secretly, the delivery person was measuring the facial reaction of each recipient as they laid eyes on their present for the first time. Going over the data days later, Haviland-Jones made a surprising discovery: everyone who got the flowers displayed a Duchenne smile—a sincere expression considered by psychologists to be “the sole indicator of true enjoyment.” In short: it’s scientifically proven that flowers make you happy.
So when Aerin Lauder set out to write her new book Living with Flowers, she knew it was never going to be a simple how-to-book about how to arrange blooms. Sure, she’d include service elements—there’s a resource page of her favorite florists around the world, as well as advice on the best vases (“It helps to have a foundational wardrobe of containers in classic shapes—urns, short and tall cylinders, bowls, mint julep cups, perhaps a square cube,” she writes.) But the book is also very much about their emotional beauty—the very phenomenon that gives us Duchenne smiles.
Living with Flowers begins with a dedication to Lauder’s mother. She explains to Vogue that, as a child, her mother Jo Carol Lauder gave away potted geraniums at her third birthday. “At the time, I was very upset because I wanted a traditional party favor of a little bag of candy,” Lauder says her mother told her. “She said, ‘This is really special because they last a very, very long time.’”
That memory is in the book, as are those of her legendary grandmother Estée Lauder. The author recalls how she carried a bouquet of calla lilies on her wedding day in January 1930, something that was decidedly modern at the time; to this day, the Lauder family puts lilies in the entryway of her old Upper East Side townhome. In another chapter, she recalls how roses inspired her work. “My grandmother Estée particularly loved the scent of Bulgarian rose. It is also known as Damask or Damascene rose and is revered for its luxuriant scent. It is a keynote in Beautiful—the perfume she worked on for six years.” (Estée, her granddaughter goes on, is just one of countless creatives inspired by flowers: she interviews fashion designers Giambattista Valli and Erdem, who are famous for their floral prints, ceramicist Clare Potter, and more.)
There’s another page that dives into the symbolic meaning of florals, or as Lauder describes to me, “their language.” Stephanotis, she explains, represents marital bliss whereas lavenders mean devotion. Baby’s breath, meanwhile, is a symbol of everlasting love.
Much of the book is dedicated to blooms in their literal living sense. Yet Lauder also dives into their use in the decorative arts, from china to wallpaper. “It allows the reader to dream and realize that flowers are more than just a fresh real flower,” she says.
All of this is tucked within over a hundred images of arrangements styled by Lauder, from the dahlia and berries she puts in her New York apartment for Christmas, to the birds of paradise that adorn her Panama retreat, to the wicker baskets overflowing with blooms at her East Hampton home. Though she stresses to Vogue that happiness can stem from a single one: “Flowers are beautiful—it’s one of the simple pleasures in life. One beautiful flower in a vase on your desk is all you need just to kind of brighten your day,” she says.
