We’ve all been there—our fingers itching over the keyboard as we order endless piles of clothes for the fall season ahead. Crispy cool weather needs crispy new fashions! But alas, as those packages pile up outside your apartment door, the boxes inevitably contain a plethora of lulus and turkeys, things that barely fit or flatter you, made of fabric whose cheesiness could not be discerned from the AI photos on the internet.
This is why in-person shopping is so wonderful, why it will never lose its glow and its profound allure! Instead of schlepping losers back to the UPS store, you can merely leave them in the fitting room. And this is why the opening of a fancy new outlet mall less than an hour from Manhattan—and boasting names like Valentino! Thom Browne! Missoni! Cavalli!—is being met, at least by me, with breathless anticipation.
So on a boiling hot end-of-summer day, I decide to explore this new Valhalla. (Full disclosure: Though Belmont Park Village is an easy train ride away, I go by car.) A new outlet mall is beyond intoxicating, and my credit cards are bulging out of my wallet, but a lifetime of in-person shopping can result in some hard-learned lessons. Which is why I am willing to share my hard-earned tips, honed after years (decades!) of outlet adventures. Please pay attention!
One: The Heart Has Its Reasons. Approach outlet shopping like dating: There should be a spark. If you don’t know what you are looking for, search for those items that spark joy—that make you sigh before you’re even in the fitting room. Remember, shopping is a lot like love: There is really no rhyme or reason; when you know, you know.
Two: Expect the Unexpected. The seductive, sexy caftan vibe at Cavalli is its own kind of classic, and I have long admired the brand, but sadly I am not heading to Capri any time soon. But wait, what is this?! A blue enamel snake cuff bracelet for $144 that could lighten up my black Comme des Garçons smocks?
Three: Don’t be Shy. Outlets often have more stuff hidden in the back, and you have only to ask to get your hands on it. At Vivienne Westwood, an inquiry produces a shaggy oversized cardigan and a huge velvet clutch bag that can accommodate an extra sweater, a bottle of Evian, and even a laptop. (If only I had had this during New York Fashion Week!)
Four: Survival of the Fittest. Many years ago, I found out that behind my back, the staff at Barneys used to joke that Yaeger would buy anything if it was on sale. If it was too tight, she would leave the zipper open; if it was too big, she would stick a safety pin in it. You might likewise resort to such creative tailoring, but please do try everything on so at least you know what you are literally getting into. And sometimes a mere visual assessment is enough. At All Saints, I encounter a scrumptious beaded flapper dress, a mere $150, suitable for a midnight frolic at Jay’s place in West Egg. (Fun fact: Fitzgerald’s fictional town was a stone’s throw from here.) But sadly even its biggest size would not begin to fit Baby Lynnie. Isn’t it better to know this right away, rather than order it online and have to deal with the crushing disappointment, though?
Five: Mind the Accessories. If you find yourself outlet shopping on one of those days when clothes are just not speaking to you, don’t try to force the magic. Instead—get a handbag! Or some shoes! At Rene Caovilla, those incredibly sexy numbers with the twisty straps that caress your ankles are here in dizzying numbers (and there are also less accident-prone jewel-bedecked flat sandals). At Valentino, you can slip into buckled velvet slides. Consider picking up that indispensable travel tote from Longchamp. Or if you’re ready to break the bank (but not too much, we’re at the outlet!), then consider a much-coveted Hector the dachshund shoulder bag from Thom Browne.
Six: Take a Break! Who can blame you if you can’t decide between a Westwood clutch and a Hector tote? If you’re haunted by that massive, floppy Missoni rabbit-pillow thing that will take up half your sofa and that superchic Valentino tunic with the coral beads (the last exquisite blast from Pierpaolo Piccioli before he meandered over to Balenciaga? Take a deep breath; it’s time for coffee and maybe some fries. And remember to return to rule one: Are you besotted? Or just befuddled? If it is the latter, fear not; even if you get home and decide you have let your true love slip through your fingers, all is not lost. Belmont Park Village is only a train ride away.
