While you may have said your wedding vows when you first tied the knot, a vow renewal ceremony is a chance for you and your spouse to reaffirm those promises—and make new ones that reflect how your relationship has shifted and grown. A married couple isn’t required to have a vow renewal, but it can be a wonderful opportunity to reaffirm your love and commitment to each other.
Since this ceremony is technically not a legal one, there is a lot of flexibility in the format of how your vow renewal can take place. You can make it a big celebration attended by friends and family, a small ceremony with only an officiant, or even as a moment just for the two of you.
Considering exchanging your vows one more time with your spouse? Read ahead to learn everything to know about planning a vow renewal.
Why Do People Renew Their Vows?
Deciding to renew your vows is a big decision that really comes down to how the couple feels about their relationship. In some cases, a couple might want to exchange vows again to celebrate a milestone anniversary. Others might have had a small courthouse wedding and want another big celebration with family and friends. Couples also sometimes choose to renew their vows after a difficult period in their relationship where they came out stronger on the other end. No matter the reason, it’s an opportunity to give new meaning to your commitment to each other.
When Do You Renew Your Vows?
You can renew your vows at any time you wish. A couple can host them after one year of marriage, twenty, or whenever the fancy takes hold. You can even have multiple vow renewals. However, wedding planner Marcy Blum advises, “Wait a reasonable time after the [original] wedding. If you have a vow renewal five months after your wedding, it looks bizarre.”
How to Plan a Vow Renewal
When planning a vow renewal, it’s important to first decide upon the size and mood of your celebration. “Determine the reason why you want to renew your vows and plan it appropriately,” advises Blum. “Did someone cheat? Did something happen where jewelry wasn’t enough? Did you have a small destination, pandemic wedding, or elopement and want to celebrate with family and friends? Did you rush into getting married because someone was sick? The reason will help you plan the direction of the party.”
The best place to start once you know the scope of your event will be to decide on the venue. Some couples might want to renew their vows on a trip together, and can find a local officiant to perform the service at a scenic spot. Others may look into booking a venue that regularly hosts large weddings to bring together a hundred-person event. Or, you can even decide to host the ceremony right in your backyard. It’s a good idea to dive into what each location offers in terms of rentals, catering, and in-house coordination to find the ideal spot that fits your goals and budget.
Once you determine your space capacity, get on top of your guest list. Think about who you would want to be present for this special moment in your life. Children, siblings, and close friends who have followed you along your relationship journey can all be great attendees to help you celebrate this step. While you can send formal invitation suites, a pretty invite via email from a service like Paperless Post is always acceptable.
Hiring an event planner for your vow renewal isn’t necessary, but it can help you along the way as you plan out the various details that go into your party and allow you to relax about the execution of the event on the day of. Planners are incredibly helpful resources to not only envision the look and feel of your celebration, but also ensure it flows smoothly. For instance, a vow renewal will likely have a ceremony section and a reception similar to a regular wedding. That means there will need to be coordination across different spaces, design installations, and service. Having a vendor team in place that you trust can absolutely change your experience of the vow renewal. To capture all the beautiful details and special moments of the day, don’t forget to hire a photographer as well. Even if you are keeping the event on a small scale, you will want to have the memories documented to remember for years to come.
Another role you should designate is your officiant. While you can hire a professional, it s also a lovely touch to have someone meaningful in your life play master of ceremonies as you exchange your vows for a second time. Be sure to give them information on your story and your goals for the flow of the ceremony so it can fit your vision.
One fun part of your planning is choosing your attire. While you may want to turn to bridal white, a vow renewal really lets you throw all the rules out the window and pick out an outfit that fits the aesthetic and formality you wish for your ceremony. When Olivia Palermo celebrated her vow renewal, she wore white for two custom Giambattista Valli gowns—and later wore a bold look by the designer in lime green. Be sure to set a dress code for your guests as well so they can all dress the part, too.
What Do You Say When Renewing Your Vows
The actual ceremony for your vow renewal can be up to you. You may repeat your original wedding vows, say only some of them, or change them up altogether. The point is, you should make promises that underline your commitment to each other for the rest of your marriage.
