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Want to have a flower girl on your wedding day? It’s a tradition in western cultures that dates back to Ancient Rome, where young girls used to present a couple with wheat as a symbol of prosperity. Speeding up to Elizabethan times, flower girls laid a trail of petals for the bride to follow from her home to the church. While the journey down the aisle is now a lot shorter for most, not much has changed.
Having people you love and who are a significant part of your life in your wedding party can make the day even more special. You’ll think first of your troop of bridesmaids, who will enact all the bridesmaids-ly duties before, during, and after your ceremony. But there’s also another character to include in your bridal set if you so wish (and there’s a kid spare): Enter, the flower girl.
For those looking to incorporate flower girls into their own nuptials, here’s what you need to know about flower girls—from their duties to how many you should have in tow, their order in the processional, the flowers at hand, as well as who pays for what.
A flower girl is a young bridal attendant that walks down the aisle before the bride and lays down petals. Many people choose nieces or the children of close friends to perform the duty.
Usually, flower girls are between three and seven years old, and tend to be the youngest member of the bridal party. While there are no hard and fast rules, couples may want to consider a junior bridesmaid position for preteen children.
There is no limit to how many flower girls can be in a wedding—after all, it is always nice to be inclusive when kids are involved.
The flower girl walks down the aisle after the ring bearer and before the bride. Afterwards, she can either stand with the bridesmaid or sit with her parents. (For particularly young flower girls, the latter is often preferred.)
In the recessional, she walks down the aisle with the ring bearer and right behind the couple.
In addition to tossing petals as she walks down the aisle, a flower girl is also expected to attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner alongside her parents. For this reason, many couples choose children whose mother or father is already in the bridal party. Many brides also invite their flower girl to get ready with them in the morning of the day of.
But otherwise? Not much—a flower girl is mostly an adorable and sweet, honorary role. It’s thought to be a nice way to include children close to the couple in their special day.
“A flower girl’s parents pay for her dress and accessories (excluding flowers),” says Anna and Lizzie Post in the comprehensive guide, Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette.
Traditionally, a flower girl scatters rose petals—but feel free to use any petals that work for your wedding. Or no petals at all: many flower girls just carry bouquets, as rose petals (real or silk) can be slippery for the bride.
A flower girl usually wears a mid or tea-length gown, and a floral wreath or hair ribbon. They also tend to carry a basket of flowers. If a bride does not want the flower girl to lay down petals, she can also carry a small bouquet.
