Ask anyone who’s ever attended an Indian wedding to describe it, and watch their eyes light up. Shimmering silks and dizzying colors meet tables groaning under the weight of fragrant spices and sweets. Whirls of rituals stretch on joyously for days. Indian weddings aren’t just events: They’re epic sagas of ceremonies, dance parties, and deliciously choreographed events.
Upholding all the grandeur means that everyone, including guests, must take on the responsibility of following the proper Indian wedding etiquette. Each celebration comes with its own rhythm of customs, courtesies, and couture. Whether you’ve been invited to the full slate of festivities or just the main ceremony, there are certain social graces worth knowing: how to RSVP, what to wear, what to gift, and how to participate with poise. Below, experts explain all the dos, don’ts, and delightful in-betweens.
Wedding RSVP Etiquette
The first thing you’ll notice on an Indian wedding invitation is that it’s not one event. It’s an itinerary. Each pre-wedding ritual leading to the grand finale reception has its own flavor and formalities.
Before you start planning outfits (and your sleep schedule), pay close attention to the RSVP details. Oftentimes, you’ll need to RSVP separately to each event. “RSVPs often need to account for multiple ceremonies, so timely responses are crucial to helping hosts plan seating, catering, and logistics across events,” explains wedding planner Tina Tharwani, co-founder of Shaadi Squad, the creative force behind some of India’s most spectacular celebrations. Don’t leave your reply until the last minute. It’s not just polite; it’s logistical gold for the planners.
If the idea of celebrating for days doesn’t exactly excite your introvert side, etiquette expert Konkana Bakshi says it’s fine to skip some of the events as long as you attend the main wedding ceremony and reception. However, “avoid appearing overly selective, like skipping family rituals but just turning up for the glamorous reception,” she notes. “That can come off as insincere.”
Wedding Gift Etiquette
Gifting at an Indian wedding is refreshingly straightforward, but also beautifully symbolic. One thoughtful gift is more than enough, even if you’re attending multiple events. And if you can’t make it at all? Send something small anyway. It’s a graceful way to honor the invitation, says Tharwani.
If the couple prefers money as their gift (a common choice nowadays), presentation matters. Place cash or a check in an embellished envelope, advises Bakshi. Intricately designed envelopes are easy to find online and add a touch of tradition. One charming detail: the amount should end in the number one ($101 instead of $100). The extra dollar signifies growth and prosperity, explains Bakshi.
Wedding Guest Attire Etiquette
Indian weddings sing in jewel tones the way that Western weddings whisper in ivory and blush. If there’s a dress code, stylist and creative consultant Diva Dhawan says to follow it. If not, just be sure to avoid red and white. Red is reserved for the bride, and white is traditionally worn at funerals. She also says not to be afraid to mix textures, layer jewelry, and play with color. “I like mixing Western jewelry with Indian outfits for a more modern look.”
Formal Indian attire tends to be floor-length. Choose from a lehenga (long skirt and cropped blouse), saree (one long piece of fabric draped around the waist and over the shoulder), or anarkali (one long dress with a fitted bodice and flared skirt). Indian garb tends to err on the more modest side, so Bakshi says to keep that in mind if you end up buying Western attire to wear.
Turmeric meets a touch of joyful chaos here. “The Haldi is a lively pre-wedding ritual in which a turmeric paste is lovingly applied to the bride and groom,” says Tharwani. The vibe is part scared, part splash zone. Picture the exuberance of Holi with marigolds and yellow paste instead of different-colored dyes. Guests join in, smearing turmeric on the couple, singing, reading, and getting gloriously messy.
As for what to wear, keep it breezy and bright. “Stick with simplicity for the haldi,” says Dhawan, who advises people to wear warm hues like yellow, gold, or orange. If you’re doing it right, you’ll likely get splashed, so Tharwani adds that you’ll want to choose something you won’t mind getting stained.
For the sangeet, a vibrant pre-wedding celebration marked by music and dancing, “stick with more formal Indian attire,” says Dhawan. “This is a nice event to mix some Indian and western influence in your attire. This is the time to show personality and color, so stay away from white or black.” Bonus points for sparkling shoes that can handle long hours on a dance floor.
Another pre-wedding event, the mehendi is a time to wear playful, bright prints. It’s an event during which the bride gets henna (also known as mehendi) printed on her arms and legs. Other guests will often participate by getting smaller amounts on their hands, too. “This is a time to experiment with your style. Just don’t wear large or long sleeves, because they could get messy while you’re having henna applied,” says Dhawan.
“I like something traditional for the actual ceremony,” says Dhawan. Stick to formal Indian wear, and if that’s not available, a long gown in jewel tones works, she adds. “Remember, never maroon or red as that’s only for the bride,” reminds Bakshi
Here’s where you can pull out all the stops: “Shimmer, beads, sparkle,” says Dhawan. This is where you’ll see beaded sarees, metallic tones, and statement jewels; it’s everyone’s red carpet moment. If you’re in Western attire, Bakshi says the most formal evening gown you own will do beautifully.
Wedding Guest Behavior Etiquette
Logistics first, glamour second. Indian weddings often unfold across multiple venues, so plan your travel and timing carefully, says Tharwani. Being punctual shows respect and saves you from walking in mid-prayer with your phone buzzing.
No two Indian wedding ceremonies are exactly alike. They vary by region, religion, and family traditions. “That’s part of their beauty,” says Tharwani. But for guests unfamiliar with the rituals, she says it can feel overwhelming. If there’s no printed guide explaining what’s happening, don’t worry. Quiet curiosity is your best accessory. “Come ready to fully engage. Mingle generously and keep a keen eye out for the traditions and customs unfolding around you,” she advises. “This awareness transforms you from an observer into an active participant.”
Stay silent during prayers or chanting. Keep your phone away, and never wear shoes near the ceremonial fire (mandap). Bakshi adds that in some cultures, women cover their heads with a scarf. Follow suit if you see others doing so and feel comfortable.
Most importantly, when the music starts don’t hold back. “When someone invites you to dance, say yes. The beauty of an Indian wedding is that it welcomes you in completely. Show up with an open heart, curious eyes, and a willingness to be part of the joy,” says Tharwani.