Olivia Colman and Benedict Cumberbatch Talk Karaoke and Injuring Themselves at Work in the Latest Off the Cuff

I m Olivia Colman.

And I m Benedict Cumberbatch, and we are

called what? The A Team?

Colbatch? [both laughing]

[tone beeping] Hi, I m Olivia Colman.

And I m Benedict Cumberbatch.

And we will be doing.

[Both] Off the Cuff.

[Olivia snickering] Round one.

Round one, icebreakers. Icebreakers.

What s your biggest irrational fear?

Sharks.

Describe your dancing in one word.

Inconsistent. [Olivia laughing]

If you were forced to wear a costume

from one of your past roles every day for a year,

which one would it be?

I think the black onesie thing from Roses.

Great idea, that s a good costume.

Last Google search?

Keep it clean, keep it clean.

Hyperbaric chamber.

What? Don t ask.

What s your most useless, but proudly held talent?

[chuckling] That s a great question.

Oh, I can do farts with my hands.

[hands squelching]

Thank you.

What sport are you best at?

Tennis.

Yeah, tennis.

Definitely tennis.

What s your biggest pet peeve?

Pet peeve, people driving in the middle lane.

[Benedict laughing]

What s your signature karaoke song?

Young Americans by David Bowie, as you know.

Oh. [snapping] Do you remember that one?

Yeah, I do. She won a BAFTA.

I got out in my pajamas,

ran to the hotel. He should have won

a BAFTA for his singing. For my singing, thank you.

Round two. Round two.

[Olivia] Ding ding.

What song do you currently have playing on repeat?

Purple Hat, by Sofi Tukker.

Oh my God, I defy anyone not to want to dance to it.

I will do it

and I will dance. You will love it.

Inconsistently if I do. You ll love it.

What s your most useless piece of trivia knowledge?

You ve got loads.

I ve got loads. [both laughing]

It s basically my entire knowledge base is trivia.

We re in a film called Roses,

based on an iconic film of the 80s

called War of the Roses, named after a civil war

in which the Roses were

the Plantagenets. Sorry, I did this to you.

And the Yorks.

Pretty sure the Yorks were red.

You can stop now if you like.

I can, okay, right. I mean, that was amazing.

I know it s useless

knowledge. You see, but you can say

anything, and he ll know.

If we swapped lives for a week,

what s the first thing you d do?

This could be really hurtful.

Oh, fun.

Isn t that a good question? Yeah.

Are we swapping bodies as well?

Has to be, yeah,

it has to be clean. Cause I would totally

stand up and have a wee.

Okay. What would you do?

I m not gonna say.

Oh. [both laughing]

What s something you re embarrassingly competitive about?

Father s races at Sports Day.

No, I m like [groaning].

[both laughing]

And then going, ah Christ.

Have you ever felt truly starstruck?

I know the answer to this.

Yeah, Ben Stiller.

Yeah. Ben Stiller said,

Hey, huge fan.

And I went, Oh shit, and that s all I said.

And he got back in the car.

I saw Serena Williams walk past me at the Oscar s, I think.

Yes.

I swear to God she was in slow motion with a wind machine.

Amazing. It was. [gasping]

She went past me.

That s how I see Beyonce.

Yeah, yeah.

She always has a wind machine.

I had the moment there as well,

when she was singing on an SNL that I did,

and then suddenly [Olivia laughing]

Jay-Z and Beyonce standing [Olivia gasping]

in the wings beside me after just having.

[Olivia shrieking]

You re doing great.

Oh, am I? [Olivia laughing]

Oh. Oh. Is it me? What is your favorite book?

Favorite book? I mean, crikey.

Where to begin?

To Kill A Mockingbird, The Hobbit,

things I m reading to my children.

Oh, that s good.

Everything by James Joyce, a lot of Dickens.

Oh. Some of the Russians

I haven t read, but Dostoevsky s.

Wow. Crime and Punishment.

Yeah. Julie Cooper.

Yeah. Every day.

That s fine. That s fine. No judgment here.

I know you cook.

I can t read very well, I thought it said something else.

I know you cock. [Olivia laughing]

You can t say that.

I know you cock,

you cook well in The Roses,

but can you actually cook?

Some things? Yes,

[Benedict] You can.

I do need to follow a recipe.

Yeah. That me. Yeah.

Right, sort of. I can t do that.

Scientific equation. If I look in the fridge

and there s two onions in a rubber band.

What s the most absurd rumor

you ve ever heard about yourself?

That I have a supercar collection.[laughing]

Really?

750 million or is it that hundred thousand

I don t know. Wow, that s good.

Yeah. It s a huge amount of money.

That s fantastic. Yeah.

I had saw something, well, I didn t see it

cause I didn t look, but someone sent me going,

I didn t know you were worth 30 something million?

I know right. Where is it?

Round three. Round three.

[Both] Career style questions.

What s my worst habit on set?

Oh, there aren t any.

[laughing] What? No.[laughing]

Do you wanna whisper it to me first?

No. Yeah. When I pulled your finger.

Oh yeah, that s it, yeah, that s good.[laughing]

You can pull Olivia s finger sometimes and she farts.

I [laughing] But it s not really a habit.

It s more of a parlor trick. It s fun.

It s an icebreaker.

It s an icebreaker. It s actually

quite nice. Something like that.

Hand breaker. Yeah. It s funny though.

I can tell when you need it. It s very funny.

Yeah. She knows when I need a pick me up.

Yeah. The finger comes.

What s your worst habit? My worst habit

is caving into a horrible vortex of self-doubt.

Oh, that does happen. Happened yesterday.

It does happen. Yes. Hence the

pull my finger.

Who s your favorite actor that you ve worked with?

I mean, Hopkins was pretty cool.

Also David Tennant makes me laugh a lot.

He s really lovely.

And what about our mutual as well?

The Irish one.

Oh, she, she, oh yeah. Yeah.

Oh, you. Oh, you.

You want me to? Yeah.

I ve completely blanked. [both laughing]

She s gonna fucking kill me next time I see her.

Dear Jessie? I mean Jessie Buckley, yeah.

[Both laughing] Sorry.

I m going really red.

What s your career highlights?

These are difficult questions.

Wow. Yeah.

It s maybe, that first ever professional job you get?

[Benedict] Yes.

I think there s nothing better.

Yeah, nothing because you go,

oh my gonna be paid for it and it s still fun.

Yeah. What was your first

paid job?

Bruiser, which is a sketch show.

Tele? Dumb tele.

On, radio in,

Yeah.

Do you ever lie about your special skills

on casting forms?

Absolutely. Yeah, of course.

And what s the most absurd one you ve claimed?

I can breathe fire out of my bottom.

Wow. I m just making

something up. Has that ever proved useful

in a job context. Smog.

But it was all off camera.

Have you ever had any accidents while filming?

Yes.

Have you? Many.

Oh, what?

Well, I had little one on this

where I sort of dived onto a sofa thinking,

Oh, yes. The arm would be as soft

as the rest of the soft. That was quite funny

Furnishing, that was a mistake.

Did you hit yourself in the head with a chair?

Yes. On this again, yes. Yes.

So we were doing a night shoot

and it was about 12 at night

and I thought, what else can I really throw into this scene?

I know a plastic chair and it ricocheted off the ground

straight into my face. [Olivia laughing]

And I came back to everyone who was still schacting away

and there was a rain machine, a wind machine.

Everyone was going, this is great.

I was going like this and go, no stop.

I really hurt myself.

And they go, this is fantastic.

I go, no, I really hurt myself.

[Olivia laughing] This egg was just kind of

going like this.

I was so embarrassed.

Oh, I have hurt myself.

I ve just remembered. Go on.

Well, no, Jodie Whittaker. Oh, no Jodie Whittaker.

Hurt me. Hurt you.

Yeah. In Broadchurch.

Yeah. Throwing her under the bus.

Wowzers. Jody Whittaker.

Yeah. We can spell that for you if you like.

She still is embarrassed about it.

We re filming Broadchurch. [Benedict laughing]

It was a huge wide,

we were tiny figures in the distance,

but she really went for it.

And I was trying to stop her from getting to him,

the actor lying over there on the beach,

she was really in it.

And she pushed me out the way and sort of knocked my feet

out from under me at the same time.

And my knee dislocated and I went, [grunting]

[lips vibrating] fell on the floor.

And I went, I m sorry, my knee s out, my knee s out.

And then everyone ran over to her

cause she was crying so much.

[Benedict laughing] They went, you okay, Jodie?

It s not me. I ve broken Olivia.[laughing]

When you win something, where do you put the award?

I find it embarrassing.

I don t want people to come into the house

and to have things around the house

cause that s a bit showy offy.

So they re in a cupboard.

The Oscar was in a cupboard that was damp

and our lovely handyman, Darren said,

you ought move that. It s gonna get rusty.

I took it outta the damp cupboard

and put it behind some books. Rusty Oscar.

So he s safe.

He s all right. And I can go, hello.

Where is the strangest place you have been recognized?

Toilets.

They re the worst. Really awful.

Literally with, you know what in hand.

Go on round four.

Guess the look. Guess the look.

Where is this look from?

Oh. I ll show the camera first.

And then, do you see that?

Oh, Stella, Stella s show in Paris.

You re good. Oh, I like that.

I think I know where it is.

I m gonna say the Serpentine Gallery.

No. Oh, no, no, no.

[Olivia] Is that not Venice?

Oh, maybe it is.

Yes, of course it is. That s water.

I thought that was grass.

I m very shortsighted, folks.

[Olivia laughing]

That s Venice.

And I m dressed in Richard James.

Look at that.

[gasping] That was the first time I ever felt confident

on a red carpet.

Well, you look it. I think that was

for The Favourite.

I think it might,

well is it? In Venice.

It s definitely Venice, isn t it?

Yes. Could be.

I basically pretended I was a superhero

and that no one could hurt me.

And then I had a great time.

Oh, look at this. [both laughing]

That was very nice moment. Oh, my god.

I m going [grunting] chest out, proud.

Very Mia Farrow

slash Michelle Williams. Oh yeah, that s Stella.

It s gotta be. Yeah.

That was the first time I dyed my hair.

I flew to LA, was very jet lagged.

Woke up at 4:00 A.M. and then texted Marcus,

my American hair chap,

and said, I think I m gonna go white.

And he went. You said that on the day?

Yeah, he went. Okay.[laughing]

That s Olivia.

She s a very instantaneous intuitive genius, basically.

Quite fun, isn t it though,

flying by the seat of your pants?

It is. It is. Oh, look at this.

Yeah. Oh.

This looks like, is this?

Is that wax? It s a trick.

Yes, definitely. Oh.

I was gonna say. Otherwise that s a lot

of very weird plastic surgery going on.

Round five, lightning round.

Lightning round.

Solo trip or group trip?

Group.

Beans on toast or eggs and soldiers?

Eggs and soldiers.

Me too. Definitely.

Country or city?

Country? Depends.

Oh right. Interesting.

Country or city for you? Country.

Yeah. But then I love the city.

Exactly, sometimes you. Oh, for god sakes.

Okay. Tea or coffee?

Coffee. Tea.

Every day of the week.

Dry cleaner or washing machine?

Washing machine. Novel or film?

Novel. Just, I mean that s again

a dependent thing. Yeah.

Yeah. Shopping spree or spa day?

Shopping spree. Okay.

Cornish or Californian crab?

Oh, Cornish. I go for Cromer.

You go for color. Cromer.

What s that mean? Norfolk.

It s not an option. Bath or shower?

Bath. Bath.

Bath. Bath. Why would you shower?

Morning person or night owl?

Sorry. Morning person

or night owl? Morning person.

Night owl. Yeah, I know.

Marmite or jam?

Jam, what about you? Yeah, I m kind of with you

on that one, yeah, jam.

Text or call? Call.

You leave voice though.

I do love a voice message.

You leave a voice message, which I think is very cool,

anyway. Reality show or documentary?

Reality. Documentary for me.

[Olivia laughing]

Comedy or drama? Dramedy.

Yes. Cooking versus takeout?

Oh, takeaway. Cooking.

Well, if I m cooking, takeaway,

someone else is cooking, cooking.

Cooking, right? Yeah. Pint of bitter

or glass of wine?

Glass, pint of wine.

Yeah. Or glass of bitter. Yes or no?

Yes. Is that it?

Okay. [Benedict laughing]

Oh, I see.

Are you a yes person or a no person?

Is that what that is? I m definitely,

well you know, I m much more

of a yes person. Yes, me too.

Which is probably a downfall

in some way. No, no it s nice.

No, you re saying now, that s good.

Okay. [Olivia laughing]

Hi. We ve been, Olivia. Say bye.

Oh, and Benedict And we very much enjoyed

doing the Vogue.

Questions And answers.

[jazzy music]