Last summer, with three hours to go until my two good friends Lauren Rodriguez and Chase Hall said “I do”, I found myself crying on Mercer Street in New York. I wasn’t overcome with emotion for my two friends (although it subsequently was a very moving day)—instead, I was pitying myself.
You see, my two dresses (one a back-up option), were stuck in customs and being held captive by a courier service facility in Astoria, Queens. While I pulled it together, (thanks to the good folks at the Rick Owens store in Soho who helped me find a beautiful alternative), it was right then and there I made a pact with myself, I would never be inadequately prepared for a wedding again. I wouldn’t leave it to the last minute and I would adopt a more measured approach to getting ready, which is far away from the instinctive way I get dressed on a day-to-day basis.
This summer I have attended four weddings in Barcelona, Italy, downtown New York, and Berlin—all with vastly different styles, fashionable brides, and descriptive dress codes. In the span of a year, I’ve gone from a bumbling novice to somewhat of a self-taught expert. Read on for my tips on how to master wedding guest style.
Invest in items you can style in many different ways
The Rick Owens item that saved me for the near sartorial apocalypse of last summer was a feather-light black silk skirt with a dramatic train from the spring 2022 runway. It was much more than I wanted to spend (another note, planning cuts down on expected costs!), but I bought it with the rationale that it was multifunctional enough that I could wear it more than once. It made for a wonderful option at photographer Nadine Ijewere’s stunning wedding in Barcelona to her long-time partner Jaye this year. I paired it with a Westwood corset and pearl choker, which was ideal for the stunning castle backdrop.
When shopping for more formal life events, I try to steer my choices towards things I could use in different parts of my life that can be styled differently without being immediately clocked as the same item. If I’m making a heavy financial investment, I even go as far as to see if there’s a dress that can be cleverly tailored into a top and skirt or an item that can be shortened to expand its styling potential. I also am a firm believer that repeat wearing should always be encouraged and I would never buy anything if I thought I’d only wear it once.
Dress for the elements
One of my closest friends Nellie Eden got hitched to another friend Andu Masebo in an intimate ceremony in Pisa, Italy, on one of the hottest days of the summer, which meant I needed to be strategic with my styling choices so I didn’t melt into a puddle. I opted for a blush Simone Rocha dress with green sequins which is made from a breathable mesh and gave me enough ventilation to go the distance. My make-up was another story, however, but sturdy sunglasses from Thistle Brown’s new sunglasses brand, Thistle, were the ideal accessory.
Wedding weather is notoriously unpredictable—rain, humidity, blazing heat and gale-force winds should all be prepared for. Thankfully, fashionable hoods courtesy of Saint Laurent, Ferragamo, and Alaïa, toweling fabric like the below bodysuit from All-In and easily wiped-down heels in PVC make for chic element-resistant options.
Know your audience
New York’s premier downtown PR Gia Kuan—one of the most colorful and boisterous dressers I know—had one simple request for her wedding guests: “more is more”. I thought a lot about what that statement would mean to her and what she would like to see me in and what might make her smile. A Molly Goddard personal order I made hastily, but thankfully, was the perfect option. Lime green, purple tulle, and red shoes ended up being an unlikely, but fabulous, combination that suited the wedding’s vibe. My takeaway? If there is a dress code, have fun with it, and don’t just opt for the safe option. There’s always time for a simple slip. Your bride and your iPhone snaps will thank you later.
Be adventurous with your accessories
I am much more comfortable in casual options and pulling a full look isn’t my go-to, as I don’t always feel myself in formal attire. A great workaround I have found is amping up the accessories to make something I already have in my wardrobe feel more wedding appropriate. Your handbag and shoes are obvious places to have fun and add color, texture, and intrigue, but for summer 2023, I’ve been going a little further, adding adventurous hair accessories, anklets, grills, and nail art into the mix. Dolly Cohen, tooth gem extraordinaire, is a recent designer discovery of mine and adds glamour to your smile.
Think about weddings as an afternoon, evening, and a late-night affair
At a recent wedding in Berlin for the wedding of my very close friend and Mubi marketing director, Ibtisam Omer, I wore a special Alaïa piece I had been saving for the appropriate occasion. I had somewhat of a dilemma when it came to the evening event. While the dress was gorgeous, it didn’t really allow for the sort of freedom I need when I cut loose. Do as I say and not what I do, a dress with versatility is key! Think about weddings as an afternoon, evening, and a late-night affair and opt for loose, cool fabrics that won’t make you feel restricted on the dance floor and don’t involve making do with a men’s tank top borrowed from a friend and a makeshift mini pinned together in the toilet stall. We do what we have to!